A
female
age
30-35,
*oggirl2007
writes:Hiya!I'm in need of some help with this crush problem.I like a sophomore who is pretty much amazing (to me at least, some other people say he's a bit annoying really) and every single time I see him I cannot think strait. The people I've told I like him can certainly see it, the way I'm like, beaming with happiness after even just a two second conversation with him.The thing is, I've probably got a 5% chance with him, he probably doesn't even know my name (he might, I'm not too sure...), he's really outgoing; I'm not, and he's in the type of 'group' that I'm a tad bit shy around. I know some of the people he hangs out with, but not closely. I really like him, or at least I think I do, but I don't know how to get closer to him without making it seem really weird.Advice is really needed here for my situation, mainly because I'm in need of other people's input on the matter.Thank you!P.S.By the way, I'm a freshmen in high school ^-^P.S.P.S.I have no idea if he is dating anyone at the moment, so let's just pretend he's not, thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): Hi,
Let's take an objective look at your situation.
You have explained it yourself, you hardly know him, and you don't usually hang out with the group he hangs out with.
So unless either of you take an active interest in getting to know one another, nothing's going to change about that fact.
You can get to know people in 2 basic ways:
A) For what they do
B) For what they say and how
C) For the type of people they hang out with
D) For what others say about them.
So be careful, and do take notice of who are his friends, and why people say he's a bit annoying!
Well, getting on the subject of your interest again, here are some alternatives for you to be pro-active and finally crack the ice:
1) If there is an integrational, sports, artistic, or any extra curricular MUTUAL activity for you to have "direct" accsses to him, there's a higher chance for you yo befriend him.
because;
1.1)Shyness can be overcomed. But first, you need to feel comfortable around him. You've mentioned that "the group" is what triggers those insecurities, so maybe getting to know him outside of that context will ensure that he'll get to know the REAL you.
1.2)It's during this kind of activities that you can gain new friends and learn more about others. They show their talents, their personality, and therefore, you can stop idealizing them. No one's perfect.
2)Don't force anything: Act Naturally. Just try becoming his friend, showing intentions of nothing else. If you do attempt the slightest gesture of flirtation, it will be obvious because of the strepitous effects of your crush over him.
3) Remember he's not Zac Efron. He's just a school boy, probably a school boy with a big EGO. Or maybe he's a really good hearted person, who knows.
Take it as a step-by-step investigation. It takes time to find an answer, it takes time for the results of your experiment to show themselves. Have fun! :)
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