A
female
age
36-40,
*alyov
writes:Help! I am so insecure about myself =/ When I'm not with my boyfriend (ie: during class, or if hes busy with homework, with friends...etc.) I get nervous and my mind starts to work over time and thoughts run through my head...I know he likes me! When were together I'm totally positive he likes me, but when were apart ideas just run my head making me think "He doesn't like me" or "Why would anyone like me?"I am also insecure about my looks and if we ever get further, I don't know if I could go that far because I don't like how I look...which also plays into the "why would anyone like me" thought.And I know when he can't spend time with me hes not just blowing me off...it is for good reasons, like tonight he has to do homework.Last night we were together but then he had to leave because of something with his Fraternity. He asked me if I was going to be busy later so I figured he was going to come back...then an hour later I got a text from him...(one saying "Blah :D" He does that when he wants to talk but doesnt know what to say) So I said ":D Blah" back then sent another saying "want to come back over?" and he said "well currently we are hanging out and such" (we being his Frat)So I told him to have fun and he said "thanks, I just found out I dont have Phi Mu on Thursday like normal so we have tomorrow and Thursday to be together." and now he texts me saying "so I definitely have to do some library stuff tonight..." I know I shouldn't be upset...I always tell him "school work comes first"But after awhile it is starting to depress me....were almost to our 3rd week of the relationship and he just got done pledging to the Frat...before that he was so busy! So like the first 2 weeks of our relationship we barely saw each other because he had meetings every night!Also we never sit together at lunch or dinner (our friends dont mix to well..except for me I get along with his friends great)...the first couple of days he sat with me then one night he asked "can I sit with my friends?" I told him "sure, you dont have to ask and dont feel obligated to sit here if you dont want to." (was that a bad thing to do? idk )So all this plays into me being insecure...I know he likes me, but when things like this pop up I feel pushed aside and unwanted. =/ How can I get past the insecurities?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): hey girl... you really need to chill out and realize if he didnt like you in the first place he never wouldve wanted to go out with you! and furthermore...if you guys agreed school comes first than you cant get so upset about him trying hard in school cause who knows maybe one day that college degree he gets might help support your alls family! anyways, when he sends that Blah thing thats his way of saying..."hey your on my mind, even though im extemely busy" ! Dont you see that? he has some sort of effort there, men are so different from women...we want to touch and hod them, and they tink a damn text will ease our needs! But if it seems it gets worse about him choosin to be with his friends and never makin time for you then yeah i think you should say somethin to him...casually though you dont wanna run him off!
good luck..chill out..and if your that insecure, do somethin about it! otherwise he thinks your beautiful and i know there is someone else out there who does too!
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