A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Dear agony aunts/uncles,I've fallen for my close/best friend and I don't know what to do. Since I was 13 I knew that I was attracted to males (some females too) and have had a few crushes before; but this time it feels so much more powerful. I don't know if its because I'm very good friends with him or because he is the one in our group that we're all protective of. He appears to be quiet, unaware of certain social rules and extremely prude (given that we're all immature teenage males, this is quite different).I often find myself analysing social situations looking for any clues but having feelings for him makes me weary of drawing any conclusions. At one point I tried to see if he was gay by analysing our group of friends with him and every time I tried to ask him about his orientation he would change the topic, eg: "I honestly can't tell with you [John Doe], I'll just stick with you being bi."He responded by changing to one of our other friends who we'd already covered. I then tried to outright ask him but he changed the topic again and said that he was going to bed (it was around 2am).This is a prime example where I can't tell if its just him being prude, bi, gay or unsure of his orientation himself.I've wanted to tell him I'm bi and I like him for a long time now, hoping to get a clear answer from him, but I'm scared. I'm pretty sure most of my friends would be more than accepting and so would my family but I'm afraid of that slim chance that they'll reject me or that it'll cause a rift in my family. I want to wait until I leave home before I come out but I have such strong feelings for him.My question agony aunts/uncles is this, how do I go about getting a definite answer as to whether or not [John Doe] would like to be in a relationship with me?
View related questions:
crush, immature Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 April 2012):
 I think you should just say to him straight out when you are both alone that you like him as more than a friend and see how he responds, if he says he is not interested then accept it and ask him not to talk to anybody about it because it took a lot for you to ask him. If he is a true friend then he should not have a problem with this. However if he is interested then I think you should just be honest with your family and friends, you are doing nothing wrong, you are just being yourself, and if anybody can't accept that then it is there problem not yours, it is who you are and if they cannot accept you for that then you are better off without them. Yes your family might be shocked to begin with, but am sure they love you and in time can accept who you are. Good luck.
|
