A
male
age
36-40,
*ikey199
writes:Ive been going out with my girlfriend for about a year now and lately a problem has been happening more.I find that whenever my girlfriend would invite me out with her friend's she wouldn't really talk to me, especially when i don't really know the friends that well. I always end up feeling lost and out of place. i told her that i feel this way and she says i should be more outgoing and talk more if i am feeling so lost. but i think she should just make me feel more safe around people i don't know and maybe stand by me a little more. I am not extremely shy as i will say hey and hows it going, but i just find that after that the friend's just arent that interested in talking to someone they don't know ...especially when they are in a bar full of people they do know and have had a couple drinks and want to catch up with them etc. I totally don't blame any of them for not going into depth about me or having a long conversation but i just wish my girlfriend would realize this and know that i can't just be left alone for 3 hours to fend for myself. especially as im not the most outgoing person ever.anyways so because of this I have started to slowly decline offers to go out to pub's to have drinks with her and her friends...i guess to "selfishly?" help myself avoid the problem in the first place. So because i started to decline going to thing's she started to as well. I NEVER asked her to do this, but it was more just simply a matter of, "oh well if you aren't going ill just stay in and we'll have a nice night together".so the other night she said as a half joke..'man, we're so boring'....the way i took this is that shes kinda pointing out that i dont go out with her friends and shes trying to hint at it or something...and because she doesnt go when i dont go we end up staying in more than them. honestly if they did something besides going to a bar 3 nights a week, id be up for it. when did people stop going to movies?!! haha i know that sounds lame to..but there must be other stuff to do. i just feel i might get a better chance to know them if we did something else. i just dont think that her friends are into that kinda stuff..and you cant force them to be if they dont want to.now lately she told me that her friend's always ask oh where's your boyfriend...how come he's never out when you come out??I just hate that this is starting to become such a big issue all because of this little problem. I do want to come out, and I always like meeting new people...I just wish that it would come easier to me.She doesn't understand it at all and since it comes so easy to her, just think's im being stupid.Is there any tip's i could have to keep conversation's with them going? or how i can explain to her to stay by me more??thanks
View related questions:
shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, biastar +, writes (6 October 2008):
I think when you go out with your girlfriend and her friends You should bring a friend or two. That would make you have some thing to do and maybe you will be more open to get to know them if you feel more comfortable around your guy friends. Who know maybe you and your friends can become a regulars and you won't have to feel out of place.
|
