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female
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*is6372
writes: My boyfriend treats me like crap. Sometimes he's just messing around and tells me to get a sense of humor, (which I have) but he goes too far, and hurts my feelings, like he'll tell me not to touch him all day, or to F*** off, or Go to hell, and that hurts. I can do way better and deserve to be treated better, but I love him, he has my heart and you can't choose who you love. I know he's honest with me and faithful and he says I should be happy about that and that he shouldn't have to re-assure me of how he feels, but he doesn't show that he loves me and he is only nice when he wants something, what do I do? I love him too much to leave but everyone tells me I deserve better. How can I get him to see what he has without taking it away? I just want the same respect I give him. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2006): this guy sounds like i was with my ex girlfriend and to this day i dont know why i was like that. she finally had enough and found someone else. if he is anything like me finnish with him for a month or two it will give him time to relise how special you are to him he will come running back a new man. my exs mum told her to do that but she was to scared of losing me if she was strong enough to do that i would of come running back if you leave things the way they are like she did you will eventuly have enough and lose respect for him and you may never get that respect back. I know its hard but its even harder staying in a unhappy relationship.
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female
reader, Jaz +, writes (5 May 2006):
 i think ou should spek to him about it and if that does not work then i think you should let him go cuz he sound like a rite ass but after talkin to him give him anufa chance and if he doesnt listen then u shoulld realy let him go !
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (4 May 2006):
 You deserve better, and you know it. He reminds me of an ex-BF of mine who used to run hot and cold - all charm one minute, and really abusive the next. We had an on-off relationship for a few years as I thought I loved him, but got tired of the hassle and eventually left. I don't regret that, and in your case I would probably advise you do the same. It is about self respect and you cannot really blame him for treating you badly if you let him get away with it and reward his bad behaviour by staying with him. Boyfriends are supposed to be nice to you...its in the job description...if they are not it is time to find a new one who treats you the way you deserve.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2006): Sis6372 it doesn't sound like this guy is very good for you - but I'm just telling you what you already know, arn't I?
I think you should remember that his behaviour will have a negative effect on you - if someone continuously hurts you it will damage your own confidence. How would you feel a few years down the line having no confidence and being an emotional mess, you don't want that do you?
Being honest and faithful is a good start to a relationship but it's not enough. You also need respect, understanding and support.
You sound like a girl who needs reassurance from her man, there's nothing wrong with that. But if you're with someone unwilling to give you what you need, that is a problem.
You need to be decisive on this. Talk to him about what makes you unhappy and be firm that if things don't change, you are walking away. If he makes no attempt to change things, he has shown you that he isn't interested in making the relationship work.
I understand you love him. Love is a powerful emotion but it can also lead to a lot of unnecessary heart ache. If you do find your boyfriend is not helping to make things better, be strong and listen to your friends/family and you will get through this without him.
Believe me, there are guys out there that will treat you with a lot of respect and will do everything to make sure you are never upset. Good luck with it.
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