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How can I gain my pride and keep my cool in front of her?

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Question - (15 May 2009) 13 Answers - (Newest, 18 May 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

pls read it to the end i have to quistions to answer

there is this girl who i like very very very much and i know that she likes me becasue we always flirt and keep gazing at each other often but she is playing hard to get and she is very good in it indeed.

i wanted to surprise her with a gift lately, but a friend (girl) of mine knew and told her. Unfortunatly it is not the right time now infact i didnt want her to know at all because it would make look like i am running after her now and i dont want to appear weak as she has been giving the cold shoulder for three days now....(playing her favorite game... hard to get.)

So what is the right thing to do to regain my pride and my cool in front of her because i know that one of the things that she likes in me is my cool and heavy behaviour wich my friend innocently rewened

and the second question is will she lose interrest in me??

please answer both questions because i am really nervous..

View related questions: flirt

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A female reader, Pyro_Dimples United States +, writes (18 May 2009):

Pyro_Dimples agony aunthaha no problem.

Hope I was some help!

Any more questions be sure to let me know!

Best of luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the answers every one.

Especially pyro dimples, because she made it clear and short.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009):

hey everyone. life is not about playing games. have you considered just being open with her, tell her you don't play games and tell her your intentions.

better than tit for tat. if she really likes you she may have more respect for you being so honest. (would also make you seem so mature) .

am i just not getting it here? (this playing hard to get situation). am i ready this wrong. OP please comment.

thanks

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A female reader, Pyro_Dimples United States +, writes (17 May 2009):

Pyro_Dimples agony auntI think if you really like her then you should go for it. Just don't be to Love struck about it. Ask her to do something with you and see how she replies. If you gave her the cold shoulder and she got pissed my guess would be she feels something for you because she apparently didn't like her own game being played against her. The easiest way to figure out if she is into you or not without strait up asking her is to ask her to do something like i said.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

so you think pyro i should end the cold shoulder game today ??

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A female reader, Pyro_Dimples United States +, writes (17 May 2009):

Pyro_Dimples agony auntsure sign she likes you bub...why don't you just ask her out and see what she says??

not ask her to be your gf or w/e just ask her to go to a movie sometime or something like that..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

guys please i still need help

after giving her the cold shoulder to see what her reaction would be,

she got mad at me,she didnt blow it up but she made some upset remarks and it is real strange because i thought she well either ask for me or just would leave me if i didnt mean any thing to her,

but she being upset and angry is something i didnt expect atall and i realy need a good and a fast advise please

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well thanks guys for the answers

and started playing the game vice versa and giving her the cold shoulder today

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A female reader, Pyro_Dimples United States +, writes (15 May 2009):

Pyro_Dimples agony aunthell if she insists on playing the game then play it back. ignore her until she initiates contact. while your talking to other girls glance over at her just enough so she meets your eyes and then turn back. Don't look hopeless. Girls aren't will fond of that. Just act like a badass, that always turns me on. I love the chase.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009):

The thing about being nervous is: its contagious.

If you are nervous, SHE will get nervous. And that's no good. That's no good at all. She will invariably vibe off whatever state you are in at the time. So number one try to relax.

The "cool and heavy" behavior, you make it sound like a front? You need to truly feel "cool and heavy" and not just front it. A front will only get you so far.

I don't really buy all that much into that reverse psychology hokum that the players use. But I do believe in being as comfortable as possible and relaxed as possible. So you can fawn over her a little bit, I think that's fine.. As long as you are confident, relaxed, and assertive when doing it and not mewling or pitiable.

If at any time you feel that necessary attitude compromised, by something SHE's doing.. A bad vibe perhaps, or just excessive "hard to get". Then yes, you need to give her space, or just find a new object of your affection.

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A male reader, SexyMik United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2009):

Communication is the answer

Wishing and hopeing is never going to get results

Faint heart never won fair lady

BE BRAVE, GO and make youself known to her, be polite and respect what she has to say. Tell her how you feel about her, maybe, just maybe she feels exactly the same about you.

It seems that you are both shy and both fear rejection, the only real way to find out is to face her. Don't play silly games with each other, as time is precious and you are maybe wasting one anothers time. If the answer is no accept it and move on. If the answers yes, then I wish you all the best, for a long and happy relationship.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009):

Cute! I have one of those guys. Is she single? He never asked and then when he finally asked me to go on a super cute date, I had a boyfriend so I had to say no :( The "hard to get" game was mostly that I was interested, but not available yet. I was trying to avoid it until I could actually go for it. Make sure you find that out and then catch her off guard, so she can't get away! Surprises like random notes somewhere no one will see it but her or flowers on the windsheild always get me! Hope it works out. Its nice to hear that guys in their 30s still get big crushes.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009):

If you really want to get her attention, do the opposite! You see it's a game with her, she expects you to chase her like a puppy, don't. If you stop chasing her and (if she has any fellings for you) she will chase you.You see her mind is programmed that 'this boy always chases me he easy to get' but if you don't chase she'll think ' humm, where is he, I wonder if he didn't see me today let me walk pass him and see if he'll check me out'. I am sure you'll like that! After she'll come and make little chats with you to see if you like her still, when she talks to her express you interest to her but don't act desperate. What else can I say than if it's meant to be, it will happen, just be patient, very patient.

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