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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have had some misunderstandings lately. He had been very unresponsive to my efforts to contact him, and would take hours to reply to text messages, sometimes even a whole day. I knew he was having some problems at home, but couldn't understand why he was being that way. I have had my heart broken in the past by a man who gradually became more distant, and I worried the same thing was happening again. So, out of fear and insecurity, I became snappy and said some things I now wish I hadn't. I also ignored his messages asking me to talk to him for a day. We finally communicated and he explained what has been going on. His problems at home were worse than I had realised, and he is unable to contact me much due to money problems. Now that he has explained, I understand. But I feel terribly guilty for the way I was towards him. He is going through a really upsetting time, and I jumped to the wrong conclusions and wasn't nice to him. I have apologised and asked for him to forgive me, and he said he does. Things seem better between us now. But I am having a hard time forgiving myself. I feel so bad for the way I was towards him, like I hate myself, and I just feel I should keep apologising. How can I get over this and forgive myself? How can I move on?I know this might sound trivial, but thanks for reading it.
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female
reader, raiders  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 I appreciate the feedback and I just wanted you to understand that there was no reason for you to feel guilty it was a lack of communication in both ends. That if your boyfriend has forgiving you than you shouldn't look back. That you should focus in the future and support your boyfriend. I'm so happy you were able to see this different angle, Good luck to you and your boyfriend.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the responses. Raiders, I did find your answer quite upsetting, but I do appreciate what you said, and it has given me a different angle to view this situation. You are right that I should be there for him now, and not put my own bad feelings onto him.
And everyone else, thank you for the supportive answers. This all happened recently, so hopefully it will get better soon. And yes, I have definitely learned how important clear communication is, and in future I will ask him directly what is going on if I am not sure about something. Thanks again.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 April 2010):
 You can help him, and in that way show him you are sorry. Action speaks louder than words.
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male
reader, LarryGalapagos +, writes (20 April 2010):
Sometimes forgiving yourself can be harder and take longer than someone else forgiving you.
It's really good to hear that things are better for both of you now, and that you're moving forward.
Eventually, try to understand that you are human, and you are not perfect. Even you, as amazing as you are, will make a few mistakes. And it's okay to make mistakes.
Besides, I'm sure you learned from this mistake, and you have probably become a better and more understanding person because of it, which is a very good thing.
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (20 April 2010):
If your boyfriend has forgiving you, than what else do you need. He is not throwing in it in your face is he. Let it go worry about helping and easing his problems don't add more. If he is going through tough times than help him out don't make this problem about you. Snap out of it.
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