A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex are really close friends, he's the closet person i am to,we're basically best friends. Our relationship ended on good terms, he just felt we were acting like friends he was my 1st bf. We never kissed coz he didn't wanna rush me, but im still insecure about not being kissed.I told him i still have feelings for him. He said that he has thought about trying again with me but changes his mind because he doesn't wanna hurt me. He knows i feel so strongly for him, but he's unsure about his feelings he's already warned me 1 min he will like a girl the next he won't he said its something in his head.I think rite now he onli likes me as a friend coz every1 in our skl thinks we hav something goin on n it makes him uncomfortable the way ppl look at us. I was hurt because he'd just get up an go from me i thought it was me, he said it wasn't me.Anyway im asking for yout advice of how i can forget my feelings its killing me. Lately i've burst into tears and have been in a bad mood, coz sum1 put da idea of gettin him bac in 2 my head. I thought about it for a sec then it set me off makin me feel insecure thinkin about how ugly i am he'd never wanna thats y he dnt want me now.1 min were just chatting fine on msn da next im upset crying about a comment he says and i start thinkin about the past.Im worried my feelings are going to get in the way of our friendship,coz he can tell wen im upset and feels terrible but it's not his fault it's mine for being 2 weak and sensitive. Like he sed if my friend liked him he'd do more 2 make it work dis hurt me coz he doesn't wanna do dat wid me n dis was da sme girl,that liked him last yr but he picked me over her so now i was thinkin maybe he felt he made a mistake he sed he didn't but she's beautiful he must hav i dnt belive him wen he says he felt more for me back den. Thanks for the advice much appreciated. x
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female
reader, bleedingheart  +, writes (14 April 2009):
Unfortunately feelings just can't be forgotten or ignored, however maybe if you were to spend less time with your friend your feelings would change. I respect him because he is confused about his feelings and says he doesn't want to hurt you. A lot of guys just rush in and don't think about the consequences, he obviously values your friendship. Things will work out in the end, don't shut him out completely just take a back seat and let him figure out his feelings for himself!Hope this helps!!!
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