A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I dated for six months, and broke up one year ago. Although I liked him a lot, he was a horrible communicator and wasn't sweet enough. He showed his love through actions such as making me lunch or helping me out with things. But he was a little firm and slightly harsh which wasn't my style. He was great but I wished he was more romantic. Six months after we broke up, we met as friends. Surprisingly I felt nothing, no regret, no longing. He was my first true love, and I was surprised there was no rekindling feeling. I was happy that I'd actually moved on! During that time, I was seeing someone new and learned from mutual friends that my ex actually still had feelings for me. I later read his personal blog which said things like, "It's time to move on." However, it did not mean much to me since I had moved on.Three months later, I started thinking of him and soon missing him. Out of nowhere. It confused me because I had forgotten him for so long. And I suddenly wished he were mine again. I went through all of our memories and thought about what could have been. Soon almost coincidentally, he wrote in his blog that it was "Time to move on for good" and thanking his friends for helping him forget his ex. It was a good sign for me, but he suddenly posted photos of him and his new gf. I later learned that his friends introduced her to him. Since those events (three months ago), I think about him/them every day. I compare myself to his gf and have thought of all the reasons why she is more suitable for him than I. I dream about him often. Many of those dreams are me convincing him to give us a second chance. It's unhealthy but I can't stop. Even having a full school and work schedule, and hanging out with friends doesn't help me forget him. I don't think about him AT work/school or when I'm WITH my friends, but I think about him nonstop during breaks whether it's during my freetime or before sleep. Even though some parts of us are incompatible, I feel that things could've been different if we'd tried harder. Regardless, the problem is that I can't let him go. My time spent thinking about my ex is about to become longer than the actual time we dated. Despite our problems, nobody I've ever dated/liked/met has ever come close to him. I just like him, plain and simple. I broke up with someone I still liked but wasn't compatible with. I dream of finding someone like him one day - hardworking, family-oriented, responsible, sociable - I suppose these traits aren't uncommon but I just like HIM. I think a very important factor is that I find him very attractive. He is not the most handsome person but I've always liked him for his looks - Not to be mistaken, personality/character is far more important. How can I forget about him and move on? How can I stop comparing myself to his gf, and stop thinking about them? I find myself more picky about guys because of him, and I want to move on and find someone just as wonderful. But I don't like anyone else but him! Thank you!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2012): I am in the same exact situation...although I am a lot younger then you. My boyfriend and I broke up a year ago and I can't get him out of my head. He is constantly on my mind wherever I go and I can't figure out what to do. A part of me says that I should move on but the other part says to try and get him back. Since the break up was my idea, I have constant regrets because now that I look back I can't remember why I wanted to break up. I obviously still like him but it seems like he's moved on. Whenever I see him I get butterflies but he just avoids me. He's very attractive and so nice but we just weren't compatible and I knew it wouldn't last. I'm going to try my best to move on and I'm praying that if it were meant to be....something will happen and we will reconnect one day.
A
female
reader, lusciousladymorgan  +, writes (29 May 2012):
Seems like a similar situation to me I broke up with my ex of 2 years 3 months ago.. he was the love of my life best relationship I had but sometimes you never realise these things until its gone.. and thats exactly what I regret now.. as at one point he was obsessed with me showing me endless affection it was only when my dad went into hospital and become really ill I could'nt see him often or communicate everyday and it started to fall apart.. last dec he cheated on me with another girl never really seen the fascination in her but he kissed her nothing more as I read things to find out the truth..but he came clean about it after xmas and said you were right i think we should of called it off when things were not good and we couldn't make it a relationship if I was happy I wouldn't of cheated on you.I came back to him in january I rushed to his house a few days after finding out I was so angry and wanted to show him how angry I was he didn't take it very seriously just thought jumping into bed would solve things.. we agreed to give it a last chance see where it would go.. but during the 3 months of trying to fix it I just constantly had my doubts and kept snooping for information his texts/facebook he never gave me a reason to try trusting him again because he was still in contact with her and occasionally hanging out with her as a mate.it was only when I thought I don't think I can do this anymore because he had planned a holiday with her and some other friends and tried to say it was group thing but later i found out it was just a foursome i was gutted because i was the one who helped him get his passport and although for ages he always said lets have a holiday it never happened so I felt pain.he came home from work one day sat down he was in tears because i still remember this day and will for the rest of my life but he just said its not right anymore i can't do this you don't trust me (again he never gave me a reason to)i need time to myself and i just don't think its going to work.. still think his mates heavily influenced him on his decision as they all had a problem with me even though they never knew me for longer then 5 minutes so it makes me think how bad he made me out to be to them when i did everything for him.I left that night devestated but knew that he was just confused doesn't know what he wants from life.about a month after our split we met up as we both share the same interests in music so we went out to a club got really drunk and the inevitable happened the night felt normal it felt like we were still together almost think it confused me a lot as during sex he blurted out he still loved me and in the morning tried to say it was me that said it first and i have a excellent memory even when drunk.. and i said listen if we are going to stay friends we need to let go of all feeling and the l word is out of boundaries. since that night we have met up a fair bit for various things and its almost like starting fresh but as friends and trying to forget we had a relationship its hard but somehow it doesn't feel wrong we have spoken about going travelling together for 3 months possibly in september see how that goes and if we come back and decide to cut ties for good then we probably will..anyway more to the response of you're situation... since i broke up with my ex i know he has been sleeping with another girl the girl he cheated on me with.. i know what she looks like her fb etc I've seen a few of their holiday photos until he blocked me because he thought it bothered me.. but in all honesty it doesn't because i know from what i can tell she might have a skinner body but the face is nothing pretty and a few times he's let it slip about what she's like and I've said i don't really want to know... i never compare myself to her because I know what i have is better she's also slightly younger and she obviously has no idea that he still is in contact with me everyday or planning various things with me and probably if she knew the half of it she would do a runner as from what i heard she holds grudges.he shares literally everything in common with me music, food interests, personality we think alike very often.. we always laugh about everything.. far as i know she has a bad taste in music doesn't hardly eat and is slightly dense!the way I see it is never compare yourself to another girl if he once loved you he will remember everything about when you were together as my ex does and we still have conversations about old times or good memories.it will come a time when she will no longer be around or have moved on and he will realise what he had with you and might possibly get in touch.. for now you must think what is unique about you everyones different and just be cocky and make a joke say well i know I'm better then her or get your friends to reassure you as all my mates do all the time and it makes me feel good.anyway thats my story I've been married once divorced and been in 2 long term relationships and I'm only 26 this is by far the hardest relationship I've had to overcome but life goes on and whats best is when they are still a part of your life to make them realise what they are missing! All the best lovely.
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