A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll try to make this short, thanks for the advice in advance.I dated this guy for a couple weeks but we ended up breaking it off. He asked me about it later and I was honest and said that I didn't want to date him anymore, he said he would be ok with just sex..I'm ok with that because the one place we DID get along was in bed. Not to be crude or anything. The problem is I have serious reservations about him being ok with just sex. He keeps hinting at more. What do I do about him? Trust he'll keep it to just sex or not even chance it?The other half of the problem, I'm a healthy female. I want some primal connection. I mean I do want a relationship, but I seem to be focusing more on the having sex and getting out. The guys I meet are great guys but it seems like I'm using them and I don't want to do that so I've stopped dating. Is there anything I can do so that when I go out I can focus more on getting to know a guy so maybe it goes somewhere else than just to bed? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice..But I've decided to leave him completely alone. Not friends either. He so nicely reminded me why I broke up with him in the first place, even if he was good in bed.
A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (22 August 2012):
First, if the guy offered a FWB situation then you almost have to assume he is OK with that. You made it clear you don't want to date him, so you shouldn't feel guilty. If you want to keep the sex only arrangement and not lead him on that it could be more, then keep it to just sex. Don't do anything that could be misinterpreted as a date-like activity. Get together with him only when you want sex, and make the sex the focus. Your only other choices are to break contact or keep him as a platonic friend.Secondly, what can you do to focus more on getting to know a guy so maybe the relationship goes somewhere? This one is easy - don't jump in bed with a guy right away. Go on several dates before you have sex with a guy. Talk, get to know them. Try to bond in that way, and let the sexual side of things play out later.Don't feel bad, a lot of women in your age bracket are too quick to jump into bed, which results in relationships that revolve around sex and little else. In fact, I was guilty of pushing for sex too early when I was that age myself. It was only through experience that I learned if I want a relationship that lasts, then I need to focus on the outside the bedroom stuff first.Best of luck!
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