A
female
age
36-40,
*ooshee
writes:Hi, over here where I live, we are captive of our customs and traditions. The biggest hindrance is the respect for family elders. I know my rights and privileges, but I am still unable to exercise them, so, literally, I have no say about my personal life, likings, or plans.Please guide me as to how I can manage this situation, and still be a part of family. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): i know what you mean. this is the case with my friend. she is from pakistan and her parents give her no say over what she can and cannot do. Im sure if you casually drop in your opinion or make a suggestion and make it out like its theirs. Although it depends on your suggestion really. I know there are several things that is not allowed. But if it isnt something going against your religion and ways then say it....it should be fine.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): I don't know exactly where you are coming from, but it truly depends on your particular situation. One way of handling the situation would be to spend alot of time and energy on those you think would most oppose your decisions, or any decisions (you know the loudest complainers) and get to know them. Talk with them, make suggestions, when they say things you agree with, repeat it like "wow, that's a really good idea..." in short, make them think it was their idea... ...but don't start there. Ask about their lifetimes and experiences. Begin when something relates - this should be pretty easy - old people like to talk) LISTEN and wait for the right time... When you feel you have enough people on your side, THEN begin to tell your family about the things you want to do.
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