A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'd been seeing this guy i work with for about 2 months when he decided to go back to his ex. We weren’t sleeping together because i don’t believe in it, and this was an issue for him.We’re different in our backgrounds-religiously. But we are very attracted to each other. We stopped talking to each other-but then he made contact again. Since then our relationship has been very tumultuous. He says all these nice things about me but he says him and i can’t be together because we are so different.No matter how much i try to end things he always somehow comes back to me-to talk to me as friends-but one thing leads to another and we are back to flirting or kissing. This has been going on for too long and it hurts me so much, that we are not going out- but aren’t friends.I have feelings for him and would like to date him to see how it goes, but he doesn’t seem to be making the moves to do so. But whenever i tell him to leave ‘us’ alone and move on, he always comes back and starts talking to me.It does make me ridiculously happy when this happens-but then he never says he wants to give us a shot. We just end up flirting and then we’re back to square one.Please how can i end this cycle?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): "I'd been seeing this guy i work with for about 2 months when he decided to go back to his ex"says it all. this will only end in more heartache and pain and devastation. he is leading you on. will dump you the moment you give in to him.stay away from this one. he is not a friend. but a vulture.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): To be honest I think that if it starts bad it can only get worse.
Is this guy even friend material?
If hes not then just say good luck and move on.
Elpigaro
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys! Thanks so much for responses. So I pluck up the courage to say I dont like the situation and I dont want to be friends anymore-in fact that we should part ways.
Now, he's saying he's sorry and he doesnt want us to end things awkwardly, that we should stay friends. Is he just trying to get off lightly?
In any case, do 'relationships' that start of so hurtful and difficult ever end happily? I'm under the impression that, if its crap now, it aint gonna get better.
Am i just being pessimistic?
Thanks so much, i really appreciate both your responses.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): Hey its easy in one way to finish this but telling that to your heart is another thing.
You Hope that one day he will realise that he likes you enough to get over not sleeping together and you dont want to jeapordise that by being the one to put a stop to your current up and down relationship.
My advice is to gently make it clear to him that he cant play games with you. If he is your friend only he wont want to kiss you. If he wants to be your BF then he needs to say that and be okay with not sleeping together.
Either way he needs to choose and you need to know one way or the other. It cannot be both and he needs to wise up to that. Give him the choices and be prepared to live with the results , even if they are painful.
I hope this helps Elpigaro
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