A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello cupids :)So this is long, because i want to make the situation to everyone as clear as possible, but i'll try and shorten it as much as possible...I had a boyfriend, we were LDR, it would have been 2 years on May 1st this year, but we met in Oct 2009.He broke up with me on Sunday, said it was the distance, but said we can still be friends. I'm quite upset understandably, but i'm wondering if i'm doing the right things - i have not initiated contact with him at all since Sunday, every time we have spoke he has initiated it, and we haven't even spoke on the phone anywhere near as much as we used to(might have had one 5 min phonecall, that's it) only over the internet, and it has only been 2, maybe 3 times, and it has just been basic "hi" "how are you?" really. I have also spoke to his friend that has done all my tattoos, but i have let him initiate contact too.We met through a friend, i went to visit her for a week and she and my ex were fuck buddies and she was pregnant with his baby but was getting an abortion in the week while i was up(they weren't friends for long after).You could say it was love at first sight. When i first saw him i thought "ooh, he's quite good looking" and over the course of the week we went from being introduced by our friend to sleeping together on my last night there. I had a boyfriend at the time, i know what i did was wrong, but it's in the past now.then i went home, we lost contact, my friend thought it would be a good idea to tell him that i intended to do what i did with him in that week and then leave him like a "lovesick puppy" and not talk to him again, but this was not true, and it resulted in him telling my boyfriend at the time that i had cheated while i was away, we split up, but then were on and off until Apr '10.We started talking again, just as friends, but we did talk about what happened the Oct before alot, and one night i was at a friends getting drunk, and i just blurted out that i really liked him and had feelings for him, he said "aww that's sweet" and i kept wanting to tell him i love him but even under the influence i felt it was a bit soon, and he said at one point "maybe you should wait til the morning when you're sober and see how you feel?" so i agreed and went to bed, but i kept texting him saying i wanted to tell him, and eventually after a few texts he said "how about now i love you" i was jumping with joy and went to sleep with the biggest smile on my face.so we were official from 1st May '10, things were going great, his birthday was in June so i went up for 2 weeks to see him, then after that we saw each other whenevr we could.Then last february he got introduced to someone by a friend, and put simply, he ran off with her for a week, but she didn't want that, so he came back to me, i took him back stupidly, and ever since things haven't been right, he would go into these depressive stages for a few days every couple of months or so, and i would ask if we are ok, and he would start blaming the distance and saying "i'm not sure" but then after these few days he would perk up again, but it did put me on edge for most of the last year, he has alot of girl mates too, and he claims he has such a good friendship with them, but some of them don't even like him.He's been spending alot of time with 2 girls in particular over the last few months, but claims nothings happened between them, and i have logged into his online accounts a few times and he asked one for sex but she declined, and the other is pregnant(not his) and she's got more to worry about right now.Since we split, he has not been online anywhere near as much as he normally is, and from what i've seen he's been out with friends.I would like to get back with him(you're all probably thinking i'm stupid now) but when it's good, it's really good, and he's been the best thing for me ever.What do i need to know from these signals he's sending me e.g initiating contact, going out more than normal etc. etc. and what can i do to help draw him to me again?
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abortion, broke up, drunk, I love you, my ex, split up, tattoo, text, the internet Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (15 February 2012):
 At most you are 21 which means you started this LDR when you were about 18/19 which is YOUNG to have any relationship that’s serious much less an LDR….
You are both young and it does not sound like a healthy stable relationship.
You want him back even though he’s not contacting you, told you that he wants to break up and is chasing other women.
There is NOTHING you can to do draw him back to you. IF he wants to come back he will… but I would not count on it.
Chalk it up to young love, relish the good times and accept that it’s time to move on.
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