A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay guys so I seem to have gotten myself into a bit of a situation and it would be great if you could give me some advice. About a month ago I started talking to a guy online and we hit it off so so well and have so much in common that I can't believe it. So far he seems perfect and almost exactly what I would want in a man. The thing is he lives in another country (one of the reasons we met was because I speak his language and have always wanted to go to his country, so talking to him was, at first, great practice) and I, while I will probably be going there some day, it won't be any time soon. I know it's really easy to "fall in love" with people online because it is such a biased view that we are given of them and really it's hard to tell if this isn't just a really powerful crush based on mutual compatibility. The good part about this whole thing is that it has given the motivation that I need to get out of a rut I've been stuck in for a long long time. I mean it's helped me in every way, from getting healthy, to looking at better career option, to just really finding myself and being true to myself again. The bad part is that I can't stop thinking about him and I am really suffering because of this. Everything I do reminds me of him and I really feel like I need to live for myself right now and not someone else. He's also pretty busy and isn't always around and I am tired of getting depressed when I don't see him online. I really can't bear this much longer. Anyway, my question is how can I distract myself from this dream guy while keeping my motivation to get my life back in order? I'd love it if things worked out with him, but right now I know that they can't and I am tired of pining over someone I can't have even if, in a way, he is worth it. How do I get rid of such strong feelings? Or at least keep them under wraps enough so that I don't go completely crazy. Thank you so much for reading this!
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female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (15 September 2010):
 http://love-addiction.com/loveaddict34.html
You know that this relationship built on line only with a person countries away from you is not real, right? This isn't love, this isn't a high degree of compatibility, this is addiction.
Don't be afraid of the label, but it has become an obsession for you and you are havings physical withdrawal symptoms much like a drug addict does.
The above article explains this in detail and what you can do about it.
First step is to realize that this "relationship" has not cured you or improved your life, what it did was keep you distracted from focusing on the negative feelings that you have or some issues that you need to work out so that you could focus on your goals...so what you need to realize is that YOU created these good things for yourself outside of this "relationship" and you can continue to do so on your own without this crutch.
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