A
female
age
36-40,
*iblio_a_gogo
writes:A friend of mine has told me that he has a crush on me. I don't feel the same way and I have told him this. However now I have a thing for his younger brother. Is there any possible way that I could try to date the brother without losing or hurting my friend?
View related questions:
crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): I don’t think that you should let some other man control your happiness , if you like his brother and his brother likes you back why should you put your happiness on hold for a man who Clearly doesn’t care if you are happy or not, why should you be the good little friend and be lonely just because this guy cant catch a hint, or straight forwardness for that mater, perhaps distance yourself from him don’t go out on what he thinks are dates, don’t cut yourself off completely but cut back on seeing him, I knew a girl who did the dame thing with a guy for almost 3 years, and he became totally obsessed with her, as she told him they cant have a relationship but be best friends, and the 3 years in which she thought they were best friends this poor guy was living a fantasy in his head, over Xmast he invited her for dinner at his families, she went as a friend, but when she got there and had a chat with his sister whom shes never met, this girl knew all about her, and welcomed her to the family, his family was under the impression they have been dating for 2 years, angel I am not saying this guy will do the same thing, but he is obviously still hoping for something to happen, this is only my opinion, do with it as you please Good luck dear and please keep us posted
A
female
reader, biblio_a_gogo +, writes (26 January 2009):
biblio_a_gogo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk so I have a bit to add to this. I went and hung out with my friend a few nights ago and afterward(almost immediately) he was already texting me to see if I wanted to hang out the next day. When I said sure, he started calling it a date and what not. The fact that I don't feel the same way about him as he does about me was established more than a month ago. He's a cool guy but it seems as though now we can't be friends and hang out without him trying to sneak dates in on me. We were friends for about 5 years before we went on a single date. Should I just stop hanging out with him since he can't seem to get things straight? Or at least not really be around him while I am single? I am very direct so I don't know how to deal with things in a sneaky manner.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009): You were honest with him about your feelings you weren’t trying to hurt him, you could’ve lied to him and told him that you like him back, and then hurt him in the future by telling him you don’t, but you didn’t you were honest and if he is a real friend and he accepted that he shouldn’t have a problem, but then again he could be hurt, badly but it wont be your fault, he would have to learn this about life, and you need to learn that life hurts, you cant protect him from getting hurt, just be a good friend, perhaps sit him down and explain what you feel for his brother, and explain that you are telling him coz you want him to understand you and that he will know that you don’t wanna hurt him.
Good luck
...............................
|
