A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 30 years old woman. My boyfriend is 46 years old. We both really love each other. But my family is not accepting this relationship. I always have a fight with my mom. I cant anymore tolerate. She think that he loves me because I am young and beautiful. But its not that. What should I do? How should I convince her to understand that we really love each other? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (3 May 2015):
I'm in a similar situation. I'm your age too and my gentleman friend is the same age as yours. However my family don't like him because of his baggage. He has 2 failed marriages with kids from them. If it works out, i'll be wife Number 3...lol. My family are horrified. But I like him. It's early days though and right now it's all about having fun. How long have you two been together? Is he divorced? Does he have kids? It could be that he has more life experience than you do and this may be worrying your mother. But at our age, we have ALOT of life experience and can relate well to someone in their 40's. My advice to you is...focus on your r/ship. Make it work and be happy. If you listen to negative comments from anyone, it'll put pressure on your r/ship AND you. Clearly you're upset by the negativity you're getting from your mother.In time she'll come to accept and see you two are genuine. But you have to HAVE the r/ship first and make it work. Age gap r/ships do attract negative attention. But they happen all the time. Age is nothing. As long as you love each other and are committed to your r/ship, that's all that matters.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2015): You just have to be an adult and conduct your relationship as you darn well please. Don't argue back with your mother and don't waste your time convincing your family why you're together. You're not a child, and you shouldn't even stand still for your mother to bully you like a little girl. When you have enough; politely excuse yourself and leave, or end the conversation.
Why are you even arguing with her? She doesn't have to accept anyone she doesn't want to, that's her prerogative. You don't have to put up with them mistreating your man; and he's old enough to take care of himself.
Just leave them alone. Stop forcing him down their throats.
They obviously don't like him. You do. That's all that matters! Giving you benefit of the doubt, I hope he's worth it. We don't really get to hear all the reasons mama and all the family do not like this man. I doubt you'll give all the reasons why. I think there are more reasons than age. If she has dealt with a series of messed-up relationships in your past, she's just being mama!
Enjoy the man you love. See whomever you please. It's nobody's business. That includes your mother.
If he turns-out to be a sleazeball like they think he is, they'll get the satisfaction of telling you "they told you so." If they love you, they'll be over-protective. That's what family does.
Make sure you're in this with your eyes open, and you're not defending a dirtball just to because they don't like him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2015): My ex husband was 14 years older than me, It caused problem in our marriage.I was thinking like you at the beginning! My parents were not agree but I got married anyway. Some stuff that I wanted to do now he had already done more than decade ago and wasn't interesting for him. He always believed that he knows better than me which wasn't true many times and It was proven later that I am right not him. So your parents are concern and they have a right to be. I hope it works out well for you but just consider them too. Good luck
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 May 2015):
 Get married, live happily ever after and don't look back.
My guess is that your mother is your boyfriend's age and there is a cultural component here that you didn't explain.
Does he have children? Has he been married before?
If your mother brings it up, then tell her that you two are happy and working on building a wonderful future. If she constantly brings it up, then sadly, you'll tell her that you need to keep the phone calls short and sweet. You love her and want her to be happy. Just as you hope she loves you and wants you to be happy. You just have differing ideas on how that happiness in life happens.
Do you live with your parents?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2015): There is a fifteen year age gap between my dad and step mother and they have been together for 15 years and are very much in love.
With any age gap there will always be doubters who come in and think they know better, but all you can do it try and ignore them. You're old enough to choose who you want to be with and if it didnt work out then you would learn from your mistakes, but right now they need to be suportive.
Have they any reason to think this of him? Maybe there just old fashioned?
Try sit down and explain to your parents, maybe invite them over for dinner and then can see what he is like and they may learn to love him too, however dont let this worry you for now you've a man you love who loves you back and thats a wonderfful thing, dont let someone taint it
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 May 2015):
 You are 30 years old, so should be OLD enough to decide if a man is right for you or not.
I'm wondering if there is a cultural aspect to this question? If your family is from a background where the parents pick their children's spouse/partner?
If not... I would sit down with your mom and figure out if there is more to it than... He just wants to marry me because I'm pretty.
I would LISTEN to my parents (even at 30) but I have never really let them dictate my life, my choices or partners.
Do you live at home still? Are you dependent on them?
I ask a lot of questions because in this day and age it makes no sense for a 30 year old not NOT be able to pick her own partner.
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