A
female
age
36-40,
*ib1
writes:My ex of 5 months has all my computer files on his external hard drive. My computer was about to crash so we put it on there for safe keeping months before we broke up. Well I kept asking him to find a way of giving them to me beforehand and like a typical lazy boyfriend kept putting it off. Then we broke up. I almost forgot about the files and asked him to send it to me but he insisted he could put it up on some sort of online hard drive so I chose to believe he would do it eventually and focused on him picking his very important and expensive stuff up from my place. (He moved far away and I was commuting very far in the opposite direction whilst taking classes it was easier for him to pick up than drop off).Well 2 months later he got his stuff after I practically threatened him to get it. Then some things went down I don't want to elaborate but he tricked me into thinking he wanted to get back together but didn't. Well I said we couldn't communicate any more. Even though he was insisting we should I said no.Well like the idiot I am, a week later I realize all of my computer files are still on his external hard drive. So I sent him an Email with the subject files. I simply asked if he could give them to me somehow and now 3 weeks later NOTHING. So my friend left a message on his cell phone (because the no contact thing is for my own good as well as his) and still NOTHING.I need those files he doesn't. I mean they are articles I have written pictures of trips I have gone on, my personal statement for grad school. There isn't a deadline but what the hell is his problem? Why would he keep them? Why won't he give them back... he doesn't even have to speak to me to get return them!How can I convince him to give them to me without putting myself at risk emotionally?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lib1 +, writes (26 December 2008):
Lib1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Good point I did have to almost threaten his things for him to come get it two months after the break up. I'll think about it. I'm just too emotionally exhausted right now for it though.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (25 December 2008):
I know it sounds dramatic, that's the point, it will make him kick his arse into action rather than going "yeah yeah yeah, she doesn't need them now, I'll get round to it one day and faff about online trying to find some way of doing it for months before finally burning them to CD in the next 5 years."
He's lazy, this is why he didn't do it when you were together, it's why he'll never get round to it now unless you kick his arse a little bit.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Lib1 +, writes (25 December 2008):
Lib1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate your advice but threatening him about small claims court sounds dramatic. I already Emailed and left a message on his cell. I don't want to turn this into a bitter battle. That is why I'm asking advice. Maybe a guy's advice would be good? A male perspective as to why he is keeping my files so I can think of a way of appealing him to give it back?
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (25 December 2008):
Then email him and tell him to post it to you or you will take him to small claims court. Tell him you'll post it back as soon as you have taken all your files off.
I think you are making a big deal of this and I know how ex's can affect you but just take a deep breath, grab the bull by the horns and call him and tell him to get his act together.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Lib1 +, writes (25 December 2008):
Lib1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat is a great suggesting BUT he moved 2 and half hours away to Boston. There is only one friend that I have who lives there and she does not have a car. So getting to him walking or public transportation would be a HUGE hassle (he lives just outside and she'd have to take the Subway and the bus).
I'm telling you I would just do it myself it this distance wasn't such an issue.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (24 December 2008):
Get a friend to go round to his place and borrow the external hard drive.
They can bring it round to yours and you can copy your files across to your new computer.
Good Luck!! xx
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