A
female
age
36-40,
*ib1
writes:It's been 7 months since my break up from my 2 year relationship. I finally got my things back from him and I feel pretty resolved about the whole thing. I am ready to move on. But I have no desire to date. I've been turning down dates and I've been really happy single and alone.This is my first time outside of college living my life single and I am noticing more and more that people who they meet and make romances with starts with a date. But I HATE dates! I've been hoping to bump into someone and get along and maybe it could turn romantic. That doesn't seem to be happening lol. How can I come to terms with going on dates? I really do hate everything about them.
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (24 January 2009):
 I think that most of us, whether men or women, are uncomfortable about dates. But that is typically how we meet, get to know one another and possibly get a relationship moving along if we wish. It's perfectly okay if you prefer to be alone for awhile, but if you would eventually like to have friendship and romance with a man, it needs to start somewhere. Rarely do I begin with a full date, but it's comfortable for me to simply arrange a meeting. Go for coffee or a drink, maybe even a snack or lunch, and have a little conversation. No obligations. It's usually just a brief little get-together, then see what happens . . .
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): Do what makes you happy, you dont need to conform to being in a relatiohsip just cause you see other people doing it. And when you are ready to date, you will feel more up to it than you do now.
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A
female
reader, sweetlee07 +, writes (24 January 2009):
Hello :)I can understand where you are coming from, as the same sort of situation occurred for me as well. I was 20 when I had just come from a really horrible break up, and wanted absolutely NOTHING to do with men. I didn't want to date them, work with them, ANYTHING...lolBUT one day, I was minding my own business, when someone with the same interests in life as me bumped into me- and we've been together ever since.Think of the date, as the rubber duck in those ponds at carnivals. Sometimes you'll get a prize, and sometimes, you'll end up a little cold, and ready to go for another pick.Keep the dates super casual and just get to know eachother. It helps if you for sure have things in common- basketball, hiking, shopping... (they are out there I promise- men who enjoy shopping) haha. But just take it slow, and things will progress as they are meant to.I hope this helps.-sweet
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