A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Please helpok I have been in a serious relationship for 6 years on and off the girl I am with is a very nice caring person. That being said she has failed to have a job for the last two years that we have lived together she has nowhere else to go almost no family no money and no friends. It has gotten to the point that I still like her as a person but I don't find myself in love any more like we used to be. We fight regularly. She doesn't clean up around the house. And when I talk to her about what is going on, it turns into a fight which results in her cleaning one time and crying about how there are no jobs out there that will take her. When I the last year she has had 3 jobs all of which she only made it one day and quit because people where mean to her. I am broke and confused. We live pay check to pay check on my pay. And somehow it is my falt she doesn't have nice things like a new car (I bought her a car that runs well on little gas).
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male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (28 July 2009):
 maybe your gf has a medical condition she may not even kno whats wrong bipolar depression etc it could be something. what happened to her family you may be able to find out through her family history. You have been with this woman a long time no point in abandoning her now, you need to talk to her, with out the arguing, tell her you need to talk to her, tell her your going to speak and say what you have to say then she can speak when your done, when she speaks dont interupt her you can take notes as well you should write down a list of things to speak with her about.
for example Finances,career education,marriage, children,
those are just some ideas you odnt have ot bring them all up at once, but this woman needs take some responsibility, it sounds like shes using you, if something happened to you would she be there for you.
My opinion is your being used, your Gf could have a medical condition hampering her ability to function normally, either way shes gonna have to help her self you cant do it all.
Its your house you pay the bills so take charge dont let her argue with you what ground does she have to stand on
tell her what you want done and thats that if your out working she can atleast clean the house theres no excuse, if you dont have chilldren theres no reason for her not to have a job she needs to be self sufficient, if shes not working she should be in school atleast.
You need to set some rules and standards a little direction wont hurt her.
if she is unwilling to improve then you need to move on it will be hard after all your time invested in her but you only have one life to live and you cant waste it on some one who will let you waste it.
i hope things work out for the both of you, remember its time for you to take charge of your situation no more arguing what you say goes.
let me kno how things work out.
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