| A
age
41-50,
*
writes: my husband has a female friend.who want to share everything personal feelings...emotions matters even family matters.with my husband..they are collegues..my husband is not flirt..not interested in girls but he says we are just true but free friends but i can not say no to her..he want to disconnect but do not want to disheart her...an emotional attachment...i also feels lack of love and happiness even he is honest and has become transparent...he is confused about his feelings???friendship..sympathy love or what???i feel jealous..?what should we do...how can i help my husbend and get back the love...1 year ago i sent some msg to his friend that she is sending too much msgs and calls to my husbend..its distributed our life..she promised me she will not tell my husband but she has forward these msgs to my husband...i hate this girl..Plz help me so i can break this relation and get my husband love
View related questions:
flirt, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2010): I'm sorry to say this but I don't think there is anything you *can* do except talk to your husband openly and honestly about how you feel about this. Then it is entirely up to HIM to regulate his friendship with this woman (which, in my opinion has already crossed the boundary into an emotional affair). when you talk with him you need to decide what are the consequences going to be if his behavior continues to make you feel threatened by this friendship - will you leave him? will you stay married but move out of the house? Will you be very angry and make his life miserable until he complies? Whatever you choose. The point is that there has to be consequences for his unwanted behavior otherwise why would he be motivated to change his behavior? You could also negotiate the other way and say that if he ends his friendship with the other woman to your satisfaction you will "reward" him in some way ...you can get creative here! but it has to be ongoing otherwise he will just fall back into seeing her again in the future.The point is that he must be internally motivated to end his friendship with her. Either a positive motivation (because he will get something better if he ends that relationship) or a negative one (because something he doesn't want will happen if he continues to see her) but ultimately it has to be HIS choice.You cannot be driving yourself crazy trying to protect your marriage from this other woman, it has to be your husband's choice and ultimately only he can do it. If he doesn't want to do it, you can't really do anything unless you are going to follow him around 24 hours a day.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (23 December 2010):
 reserve all your angst for your husband. Only He can put a stop to this nonsence on his part. Only He can stop disrespecting you by even allowing this woman into his life. Be dignified about it. No doubt she is trying to woo him with every ounce of flattery and false compliments she can muster.
Ask your husband to act professionally at
work and distance himself from personal communication with this woman. But once outside work this woman has no business contacting him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): it is so easy to get jealous when it comes to this sort of situation, but you want to go about it in a different way.
I tryed this with my boyfriend when we had a similar situation. Instead of telling her to stop messeging , messege her become FRIENDS with her. Become obsessed, she will get really confused and she'll know its not getting to you. The more she knows its getting to you the more she will make an emotional connection. Invite her round your house for a cuppa, this way your involving you into the situation. Hug into your husband when shes around. Watch her reaction , kiss him. You are sure to get a result from this. It worked with me and i havnt ever seen her again :)
...............................
|
