A
male
age
36-40,
*hatethis
writes:Its been a couple of weeks. I was feeling good, and had managed to avoid her for pretty much the entire time. Today I saw her. A couple of weeks ago she cheated on me, and we broke up. I still care about her a lot, but I would never go back to her after what she did. That is a moot point though, she doesn't want to get back together.As I walked by, she laughed loudly (not at me) like I didn't even exist. I was finally feeling good again, and honestly thought I was over it. But today just brought back all of the emotions and I feel like day one again, sad and angry. Thats what hurts the most, that she doesn't even care. A day before we were planning our future, the next she cheats. She won't even give me the satisfaction of a genuine apology, she said sorry as we broke it off, but she didn't mean it. Now it feels like she is going out of her way to show me none of this matters to her. Anyways, venting aside. There is absolutely no way for me to avoid her because of the situation. The only reason it took almost two weeks was because I went out of my way to avoid running into her. But its a major inconvenience to do this. I'm staying in tonight because everyone is going out, including her, because if I see her with other guys I won't be able to handle it.I understand women fairly well. Being affected, being sad, cowering away just to avoid seeing her just makes me look even worse in her eyes. Not caring, being happy, and going out tonight and dancing with 20 different girls would probably make her come running back so that I could at least get the satisfaction of thinking she cared a little. But I can't. When I saw her I started shaking and got sick. I can't pretend not to care, I think I really loved her even though she wasn't who I thought she was.I don't want to keep repeating a nasty cycle of the pain dulling, then running into her only to have it come back fully. What can I do?
View related questions:
broke up, cheated on me, get back together Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Babyboo:) +, writes (22 February 2010):
Oh babe... Listen really close... My boyfriend cheated on me and then told me on valintines day.... Just calm down and maybe go for some other girl... Get over her she's not worth your pain.... No one is... You tried your best to stay away from her... Go out tonight have fun... If you run into her so what.. Have the time of you life... I know it's hard to forget someone you think you love.... But honey it's life... I was in love with my man.. He is still with that girl he cheated with me on... But im tryingy best to just forget about him and act like me and him were ne'er together... Maybe you should try it... Well I hope I kinda help... Bye love
A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (21 February 2010):
Oh honey I'm so sorry. Betrayal by a significant other is so hard and painful. However, you need to be careful not to let your imagination run away with you. when you say "what hurts the most, that she doesn't even care"... you don't know that.
Most of the time when women cheat it's because they have low self esteem and they need the extra attn from other men to feel good about themselves. So if we are dealing with an immature girl who already has low self esteem and we add on top of that her own guilt over what's she's done that's a lot for her to feel bad about. If the way she has learned to feel better about herself is the attn of men then she's going to revert to that to try to feel better and make the bad feelings go away. She can't give you a genuine apology, because she's not strong enough to face the pain and damage of what she's done. Trust me it will haunt her but I doubt she will let anyone see.
You don't have to pretend not to care. She hurt you. What is most important is for you not to let her damage your self esteem. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Be who YOU are. Be yourself. That fastest way to get thru your pain is to let yourself feel it.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): Hi i really think its a good thing that you got rid of her for one. as by her antics of knowing what she done just doesn;t bother her at all .And what a selfish girl not really sitting you down and apolgising to you properly.you really need to get yourself back out and hold your head up high and u walk past her in the street look straight through her as you walk past .you can,t give her the satisfaction of knowing how much she has hurt you as i think she will love that. many of us get hurt it,s a part of life and we have to move on .Life is for living so live it to the best we can and take everythink as it comes and maybe sometimes goes .you get back out there and start again clubbing it and doing everything we just do in life . i do belive there is always someone for each of us out there and it will happen when the time is right .
...............................
|
