A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I am after some advice/help on how to be more confident and care free, and less self conscious in public.I've always been quiet and I do care what people think of me, up to a point, but I wish I had the confidence to be more my natural self without worrying.For example I was standing in a queue the other day behind a couple of tall girls, I'm only 5ft 2, which I don't have a problem with, but I felt really insignificant stood behind them as I could see they were laughing and being their natural selves, not caring what anyone thought- not that they were behind rude or ignorant or offensive or anything like that, but they just seemed so comfortable in their own skin. That's what I mean - I want to feel comfortable in my own skin no matter who is around or who is watching. My job requires me to be in charge of large groups and to be the main person - which I guess is a good starting point, but I feel like that's different in a way cause I'm there to do a job, and I've been trained what to say and how to be, I do let my personality come through at times but I want it to be like that more often. Where it just comes natural and I don't have to think about what I'm saying cause I'm not worrying. Does this make sense? Can anyone relate? Why do you think I felt so insignificant stood next to these other girls? It's not my looks, before anyone asks, I am very slim and toned, a lot of people think I'm attractive - I'd say above average, and I'm pretty happy with my looks. It's my confidence I want to improve but I don't know how.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 November 2013):
 I'm now 5'2" I used to be 5'5" but I've lost nearly 3 inches due to early onset degenerative disc disease.
I can tell you at 5'2" we can DATE ANYONE... tall girls tend to not want to date shorter men... we have a much larger dating pool... shorter men don't often want to date taller women....
When I meet folks, they do comment on my size.. I just smile and say "yep I'm FUN SIZED" which is how they market small halloween sized candy bars over here... never fails to get a smile and it shows I'm OK being short.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2013): Thank you high maintenance 101: I will do some research on the Internet.
In the mean time I will try to consciously practice it. All my family are on the quiet side, I guess you could say I had a sheltered upbringing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2013): If its confidence. You need to practice it.
No one was born confident. It takes a lot of influence from your environment for one to become confident.
1. your family.
If they always support you, it will never be an issue for you.
But whatever the reason why your not confident about yourself, try to work on it, no one can help you but yourself.
trust me. Try to read more about confidence online.
So many expert advice available for someone like you.
Just type "how to be confident" on your browser. then voila, experts advice will pop up. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2013): Thanks you for your answers: I like the idea about focusing on others - I do like to listen to other people anyway.
I'm not concerned about my height though, maybe I worded it wrong. I was just giving an example of a situation I was in were I was stood behind some taller and confident girls - I'm not saying they were confident cause they were talk, or anything related to their looks - cause if I think about it in a visual way they were also slightly overweight, and I'd prefer to be slim any day. But even though they were overweight (and they were a bit spotty too) they still seemed comfortable in their own skin. We were actually in a queue to get a sandwich from Subway - and one of the girls asked for loads of onions - again something I wouldn't really do if I knew I was going to interact with other people cause they stink! But she didnt care. And although on the surface they were both on the overweight side, with spots, their confidence outweighed their looks and their friendly outgoing personality really shone through. I see myself as the opposite : above average with the looks but with a good body , but my reserved personality I think is not attractive.
I've been stood next to shorter people too with more confidence and the height is not an issue - in fact when I'm made to feel tall stood by a shorter person I feel kind of out of place, so this is nothing to do with height, or looks. It's to do with confidence from within.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2013): Hi! I have the same height as yours.
What I do to look taller is I always try to stand up straight. I also always wear heels.
There are so many things that will help you look taller than your height. Wedge,Mini skirts, fitted jeans, wear one color, tie up your hair, high waist bottoms,wear vertical stripes and most of all practice being confident.
Until such time you have finally accepted your petite frame.
there are so many petite famous actresses. read about them and maybe it will help you to get inspired and embraced your petite frame.
One of my favorite is Veronica Mars.A.K.A Kristen Bell I so love her. There's Jessica Parker, Ana Sophia Robb. So many actresses. Kim Kardashian.
So be proud of your height. I am proud of my height, I'm 5'2 and I love my height say it to your self too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2013): Hello there! I have the same height as yours. I must admit sometimes my height affects my over all confidence as a woman. However i realized that its something that should not bother me.why because i was bless with so many things. Like you i have a pretty face, smart and its enough yo cover up my insecurities regarding my height. Use heels. Marilyn monroe once said, shes not sure who invented heels but women should thank that person.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2013): I'm afraid I don't have any advice for you but it might help you to know that I feel exactly the same as you. I can definitely relate and I'd love to see what kind of answers you get as I'd love to overcome it too. All the best.
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