A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Appearance wise, I might look plain most days, but I never had a problem with how I look. So if it is okay with everyone, take my word for it that I am at least average (don't want to go through the trouble posting images).Men don't usually look in my direction when I am out in public. They dont talk to me either. I am surrounded by males because of my major in college, so Im usually 1 of 3 girls in my classes.If I am ever approached, it happens once every 2 or 3 years and these guys are always very forward. Not only do their personalities rub me the wrong way (it might have to do with me being very laidback and reserved; I am not an "in your face" type of person), but I am not attracted to them physically.Ive tried approaching guys but they treat me as a friend only. Eventually I cut off ties because of the lack of progress; they seem to have no interest in keeping a connection anyway so it works out I guess.Of course you might be thinking "I should be going for anyone at this point if my luck is THAT bad". Maybe I should, but I dont want to jump into a relationship as if its some kind of achievement. If my destiny is to remain single because most men find me undesirable, Ill take that and move on.I do not believe shyness or intimidation is a reason here. I was shy once, I know how shy people act, and Im not seeing that. Logically if no guys are approaching or even staring, is that enough evidence to support the assumption that I am undesirable to the male population?
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (11 November 2012):
 A lot of being attractive to males is being positive and interesting. Sure, it doesn't hurt to have looks like (insert your favorite actress here) but overall most men will approach a girl who looks like they can start up a conversation with.
If your major is male dominated, my guess is that most of the guys in your class are shy. I remember being in computer science / math classes and having 1 - 3 women in the class and all of us guys were too shy to approach them. Also, at your age it is challenging to meet people...
My suggestions for you though:
1) Be positive / interesting. Be able to do "small talk" with people. Ask lots of questions -- guys often are looking for interest first before they reciprocate. Even if you aren't interested in the guy, use it as practice. Read an interesting book for fun, keep up with current events.
2) Take care of yourself. You don't have to wear top of the line fashion, but go a little extra in making yourself pretty. Take a look at your clothes and ask if what you wear looks like you care about yourself.
3) In a group setting where you sense you can meet new men, don't surround yourself with other guys. I would see that as you are already "taken" and wouldn't approach you.
4) Consider exercising if you don't already. It shows you care about your health and it will give you a positive optimism as well a potentially new rewarding hobby. Gyms can be a great place to interact with people.
Finally, be patient. The right guy will come around when you least expect it.
Eddie
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2012): A huge part of what makes you desirable has nothing to do with your looks.Ive seen lots of ugly happily married women. You don't mention anything other than classmates. Are you looking anywhere else? If you don't go out and you don't talk to anyone why would random strangers approach you? You sound shy. Get out and start looking.
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