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How can I be supportive without putting pressure on her?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 March 2012) 1 Answers - (Newest, 16 March 2012)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have been spending time with a girl who iv fallen for, but shes being hastled by her ex alot he's giving her a hard time coz he wants her back and is calling her names coz shes been seen out with me and hes saying shes easy ect. Now i dont want to cause her trouble i really care about her and will wait till she is ready for a relationship if thats wat she wants but how do i be supportive and let her no i want to be with her without putting on the pressure

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2012):

Man, thats as hard as balancing an egg in a stroke in each hand while walking in a rope. But here´s the clue, as long as you don´t ask for answers regardless the relationship you both have and make her feel that she cant count on you it will be ok. The thing is we dont know how she´ll react, that depends on what kind of girl she is. Try as much as possible as be her friend but with a small doze of "i care because i like you". It sucks to be friends when you want something more, so its ok to suggest your intentions a little bit and see how it goes, that way you are not preasuring her and at the same time you are being there. If she pushes you away then it´s nobodys fault and its not gonna work anyway. If not, then, wheter she is ready or not fo a relationship she might feel ok with you being around.

But most importantly i suggest you my friend, be clear with what you want, dont stay there just being her puppy, if you want her try to get her bit by bit, you can go slow but at the same time going somewhere, at some point, you got to stand for yourself and say "im tired of this shit what i really want is this and that" if she refuses then leave, if not, then you´ve done it. But think on yourself to, nobody likes to be the seconds of nobody and nobody should tolerate it.

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