A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for two years. I left my ex ( the man that I had two children with) and soon after started dating my husband and shortly after that I got married. This whole time, my ex has been saying that he wants me back and I have thought about it almost everyday. He still tells me he loves me but he has another woman in his life also. My common sense tells me to just stay where I'm at and forget about my ex and to only maintain a cordial relationship with my ex for my kids but I do know that I'm still in love with my ex. HOw could I be in love with two men? and do i only think that I love my ex because we have kids together? What should I do?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 January 2012):
 Glad we could help!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo Very Confused and cityoflights, thank you both for your great advice. If the both of you are looking for the answers to something as well I hope the both of you recieve great and unjudgemental advice to help you through your struggles, like the advice that you both have given me. Thanks again:)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey anonymous male reader, just because I have feelings for two men, doesn't mean that I have emotionally abandoned my kids. Everything I do is for my kids...also do you know me or have you seen me with my kids? No. you haven't! Secondly, I am not a conceded person that is in love with myself either. Maybe ur in love with urself and maybe a woman in your life had feelings for another man in result of ur selfishness! Just because ur scorned don't think that u have the right to judge me or the kind of mother I am when you have never even met me. GET OVER YOURSELF! To the rest of you..thank you for the GREAT advice, it really helped me to try and evaluate my feelings and prioriteis on both sides:)Those were the kind of answers I needed to help me...which was why I asked this question in the first place.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 January 2012):
Unlike the first poster, I get that you can love more than one person at a time. I see that you left your EX BEFORE you started dating your husband so I know that you are truly torn with these feelings.
Sadly our society does not deal with polyamory (many loves) well.
When I started being friends with my current fiancé my then husband was fine with it… till I fell in love with the new guy… we had an open marriage and I was exploring the possibility of having a poly relationship with two men but it did not work out and my husband left. So I get that ability to love more than one man at a time.
Now as to WHAT you should do…
I wonder if you are actually IN LOVE with the ex or just LOVE the ex. You have a very strong bond with a man that you have two children with and perhaps you are confusing your desires for him to have a happy healthy life with love?
I mean I CARE about my ex husband who I had children with but I’m not in love with him. I wouldn’t want harm to come to him. I want him happy. But more for our children than anything.
I RARELY like to give cut and dried advice. I prefer to ask questions of you to help YOU figure out what you need to do for YOURSELF… in this case I’m going to tell you advice.
Cut and dried. Have warm feelings for your ex but it’s time for both of you to get on with your lives.
Ex’s are such for a reason. Even Elizabeth Taylor tried and Richard Burton divorced TWICE…
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 January 2012):
 Being in love with two (or more) people is not as farfetched as you might think..... MANY days, whilest I am playing tennis or golf, I see hot ladies and fall DEEPLY in love with them. It takes only a few moments.....
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2012): "How could I be in love with two men?"
You can't. You're not even in love with one man; you're in love with yourself above all, more than the two men you're stringing along, more than the two children you emotionally abandoned.
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