A
female
age
30-35,
*onfused_123
writes:So, i could go into major details, but we'd be hear forever, so i'll put it simply. I went out with this guy when i was 15 and it was my first proper relationship and lasted 6 months until we broke up. I wasn't sure how i felt so i ended it and typically, but the time i'd realised how i felt, he wasn't interested anymore.Obviously, I'm only 17 now and we don't talk as it was too difficult to maintain a friendship after everything. As long as we don't hang out I have a pretty good hold on my feelings for him and I have gone out with other guys. It's just, none of them have ever really measured up in terms of how easy they are to talk to and how much we have in common. Anyway, he's had a close friendship with this girl for ages and until recently she's been in long-term relationship, but they've broken up now. I've seen this situation many times and well, I know my ex and he really likes this girl who's now single. Why shouldn't he? It's been two years and we don't speak much and they're practically best friends. My point is, if they do starting seeing each other and I have to see them around school together being a couple, how can I learn to be happy for him? The idea of it makes me feel sad because I sometimes really miss what we had, even though there's literally no chance of us getting back together. And I genuinelly want to be happy for him. He deserves to have an amazing relationship; he's a really nice guy.So in short, i'm saying I don't want to feel jealous if I see them together. Now, I know that sounds ridiculous. I mean, if I'm jealous, i'm jealous, if you see what I mean? There's nothing I can do about it. But does anyone have an techniques for dealing with seeing your ex with someone else when a part of you still misses them? I might have to see them every lunch time sitting around in our sixth form centre and it took me long enough to get “over” him. Seeing him with someone else might just drag all my old feelings up and depress me.So much for keeping this simple. I guess I felt the situation needed explaining in slightly greater detail than I originally thought. Any advice is greatly appreciated. I just read through my problem and it does sound pretty stupid.
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best friend, broke up, jealous, my ex, want to be happy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kyle007  +, writes (30 August 2011):
Don't deny your feelings at all. Don't force yourself to be "happy" for him if you only think that is what the proper feeling to have is.
Feel the way you DO, not the way you SHOULD. Who is judging you on this any way? Its what you DO that matters in the outside world.
Just do the right thing for yourself and him. And that may be to distance yourself as much as possible.
OR
If you really really still love the guy, just tell him. Don't expect him to come running back to you necessarily, but you may want him to understand that you may be uncomfortable around him and his girlfriend because of it.
Sometimes just saying how you feel will help you get over it.
This is not stupid at all. Many people go through similar things.
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