A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:okay, so things with my boyfriend ended about 3 weeks ago i think...but they ended badly and i know i'm going to have to see him again cause we always hang out at the same place.there are two ways this ended badly. firstly it ended badly for me cause i was the one who was dumped. my boyfriend had pretty much ignored me for an entire week, said he wanted to talk about things but instead of talking to me about any problems he thought we might have had, he dumped me...by text.i was angry and really hurt. i said i deserved an explanation, and he agreed. i went over to his house, 2 days after getting the text dumping me, to get my stuff back (he was still asleep at 1 in the afternoon when i got there, and he knew i was coming over, so that also annoyed me a little). i said okay, why? i wanted my explanation, and the only thing he said to me was 'i don't know', and said i'm sorry. i was annoyed cause he had 2 days to come up with something, anything to tell me. he said i deserved an explanation then gave me none. i got upset started crying and basically saying all the things i wanted to say to him, basically giving him all the reasons why i should have dumped him but didn't cause i was willing to work through things. he sat there silent and had no answers for me. he said he still wanted to be friends though...now for why i think it ended badly from his point of view...about 5 days after going to his house, i had still heard nothing from him, at all even though he had claimed he had wanted to be friends, and had seen how much he had hurt me with what he'd done (ie ignoring me for the last week of our relationship, dumping me by text, giving me no reason when he said he would). i went to the place that we both hang out at, kind of as my triumphant return after being dumped, haha. and his friends were there. one came over and talked to me cause he didn't know what had happened with us, and i told him, that his friend was the one to dump me and that he had done it by text, and had given no explanation. his other friend started talking to me, and said that my now ex had made a very poor choice and apologized on his behalf, saying that he has some issues and that i shouldn't take it too personally, but was really angry at his friend cause he agreed with me that my boyfriend had ignored me quite a bit and even said he thinks that he had treated me quite poorly and that i could do better...well the next day, this friend who had been consoling me, while i got upset about being dumped, went over to my ex's house and called him a d*ck, on my behalf, though i don't know why he said it was on my behalf. my ex told him to F off and threated to hit him. him and his friend are no longer talking, and i feel really bad like it's all my fault. all i was trying to do was vent my feelings to a friend, (i met my boyfriend and his friend at the same time, so we were kind of friendly, then a little after we all met, my ex asked me out) and his friend knew him longer than i had so i thought maybe he could help me understandso now he's mad at me for "turning his friends against him and having them attack his character". that was not my intent. i started talking to him online one night cause after we broke up i found out that his housemate, who he used to get me to hang out with all the time, was actually his ex girlfriend and he didn't tell me. i was really angry cause he had told me he'd only ever slept with one girl, and turns out that that was this particular ex, his housemate. i said some things to him because of this and was angry and he turned the arguement around on me and made me feel horrible about talking to his friends. somehow i ended up apologising to him and he got this attitude about him that 'oh why should you apologize i'm that bad guy apparently all my friends seem to think so, you've turned everyone against me" i said i was sorry, i didn't intend it to be that, all i was doing was hurting and trying to understand what had gone wrong with us cause i had thought things were fine. anyway, we argued for ages and he made me feel really horrible to the point that i was crying and trying to say sorry and wanted us to just be at a point where we could be civil and he basically said he didn't want to talk to me, said goodbye, and that was it. i haven't heard from him since.he hasn't blocked me on msn or anything he's still there he just doesn't talk to me. and i know i'm going to run into him at an event this weekend and i don't know what to do. i want us to atleast be civil but i don't know how. and i'm sure i will have to see him from time to time. i don't like all the negativity i feel, i just want things to be okay, that's all i ever wanted but when i try with him, he turns things back around on me and shuts me down. what do i do?
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