A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,Several years ago I met this girl on an all-county school trip. Technically, I met two girls, A and B, who were best friends. I fell in love with A and B fell in love with me. Cinematic, I know. And by love I mean something more like extreme random like. I hung out with A once after and it was a blast. She liked me back. Nothing happened.. Then the next year we all got to high school together and no "chemistry" seemed to be happening between any of us except that we all would talk as friends. Then B confesses her love to me and I accept it and grow to love her too. We date for a year and a half, while A seems to grow to hate me.We break up because I realize I don't really like her. My love for A had subsided love ago and so had her hate. We were cordial. Then after seeing her once again over the summer, my love was revived. I jokingly confessed this love to her to so to keep me from hurting B, who was still very much attached. Then eventally I wrote her a letter explaining why I was acting weird and that now I was honestly being open. You would expect a reply of I love you too or I hate you or let's just be friends, right? I'm not so fourtunate. I instead get pelted with the occational "..but you love me, right?" and "That can be our date." referencing us going to watch a movie with another couple. [which has yet to occur] So, building courage, last month on Valentine's Day, during a class debate on the supposed commercialism of the Day, [I being for the Day and A against it] I pulled out a single red rose, which totally shocked her. B was crushed and flipped out the rest of the week. A barely responed. B now seems to do all of the things I do. ie clubs. This brings me to the advice wanted: 1. How do I know for sure If A wants or will ever want to be with me?2. And more importantly, how do I get someone who I broke up with a year ago to leave me alone?
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best friend, broke up, crush, fell in love, I love you Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2011): I've encouraged her to make closer friends, but this contributes to her moving in my circles of friends. I've even told her to try to see other guys, but each time she talks about how she doesn't even think about other guys "the way she thinks about me." I'm going to ask Maegan to eat today, but I honestly don't think she'll come.I've just decided to move one if this doesn't work out.
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (8 March 2011):
 :) well i think most people don't take their own advice (and i'm one of them!)
with regards to B, it sounds like she clings onto hope with you coz she is lonely. can you help her to make friends or even help get her fixed up with a new boyfriend? i think this would help her move on from you
xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2011): Thanks a ton for your answer. That's how I felt it would be resolved too, there's even a joke among my friends that when they're having relationship problems that I chime in with "communication is key!" Apparently I've unsuccessively used my own advice. For the first few months after our breakup, B and I still talked, texted, went to youth group toether, etc; however, I was under the impression it was without attachment anymore. The problem is that she didnt have any other very close friends to turn to so I was stuck to play the rol of "comforter," with quips like "other fish in the sea.." and such.I eventually realized how much more this was straining my problem. I have told her on several occations quite directly: it's not going to work out, I see you just as a friend, etc. One of these occations during Valentine's Day week when she was so upset. She tends to go on about having hope. I have even gone so far as to say there is such a thing as false hope. As for A, I think I'll do just that: outright ask if there is anything or nothing at all?Thanks again for your time and answer.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (7 March 2011):
hi
in short : communication
tell A how you feel and ask her what she plans to do about this. this situation has gone on long enough so you are entitled to an answer. if she cannot give you a straight answer then i think even THAT will tell you a lot
tell B how you feel. tell her that there is really no possibility of you getting back with her. you don't have to be rude or hurtful, just factual. again, this has gone on long enough that she deserves a straight opinion from you.
you can give hints, look for 'signs', hope for the best and all that stuff, but really i think a more direct approach will be a lot more helpful to all concerned here
xx
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