A
female
age
30-35,
*exii-xo
writes:Hello my name is alex and i'm 20. I'am currently engaged to my fiancee. Im really stuck in a very awkward situation which is destroying me as i love my fiancee to death as he does me. My fiancee has an older sister who is only a year older than him, she and his mum are the issue. Where do i start.... since being with my one true love for over a year now ever since day one his sister has been sharing her negative thoughts about me and our relationship to me and her family, she never has anything nice to say. Shes always trying to set my fiancee up with his ex who shes good friends with, like last christmas she (his sister) left them both outside talking while she (friend) flirted. She always interfears in our relationship and trys to change my fiancee to someone hes not (aka such as a party animal like her, which he has never been), what bugs me is that he acts like an idiot when hes with her because of her. This is causing us to argue as she doesnt like me at all. When we got engagaed she had also spread nasty rumours to her family and told everyone thats "it's stupid that you got engaged after 5 minutes" ... is this really anything to do with her? I cant trust his sister around him.On the other hand his mum can be just as bad. We get on very well with each other but his mum is very controlling, she always trys to interfear, tell us what to do even if thats not what we "want" to do... it drives me and my fiancee insane!... that's our wedding plans ruined...I just don't know how i can cope with the fact that everytime his sister comes over to visit, the air in the room is so tense you can cut it with a knife.. litrally. My fiancee is stuck between listening to his nasty interfearing sister and me. I wish he would stop listening to her as she's misleading him, i dont want to lose him over something silly. please please help me to figure out how to deal with this!!How can i feel part of their family if his sister is always being nasty and making it awkward?Please please help!! :( xxxx
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christmas, engaged, fiance, flirt, his ex, wedding Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lexii-xo +, writes (6 September 2012):
Lexii-xo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou so much for everyone's help! It has helped me a lot and has helped me to understand what the best method is thankyou millions love xxxx
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (2 September 2012):
 Well in that case you know what the problem is. The sister is jealous of you, not because her brother is being taken away from them but because she never had the kind of love, security and commitment that you are getting out of your relationship. She compares her life with you and feels bad about it and vents her frustration and anger on you.
Don't let her bother you and don't let her bother your boyfriend as well. He should take her words with a pinch of salt and just not let them affect him. Just remember that whatever she is saying is because of her own frustrations and she is not in the right frame of mind. The monster called Jealousy is a terrible one!
Enjoy your life, enjoy the amazing journey that you and your boyfriend have embarked on and don't let irrelevant, meaningless people get to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2012): at the end of the day it is his sister and if she does feel a little pushed out because of the relationship you do need to be understanding and maybe make her feel that your not taking her brother away but shes gaining a sister
yes maybe she feels jealous because shes never been engaged and you guys are but if you want to be with him you have to understand her feelings and try to build a relationship with her because if you do get married shes going to be a part of your life for a long time and shes very important to your fiance
it must be a very awkard situation for your fiance as like you said hes been very close to his sister all his life and he probably wants a good relationship with both of you and obviously he wants you two to get along
if you have called her a nasty person to your fiance thatll just hurt him but yes if she has upset u by something she has done he could have a word
anyways like the above said be the bigger person and talk to her and tell her you truely love her brother and you want to get along especially for him as he loves you both, maybe over time you can get learn to get along, somtimes it takes time it probably wont happen over night
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A
female
reader, Lexii-xo +, writes (1 September 2012):
Lexii-xo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello thank you so much for the advice its really helped a lot. His sister hates me because i was told that she was jealous of the relationship i have with her brother as they used to be so close before he met me, and not only that, i was told by his dad that it was also to do with the fact her ex didnt propose to her after being together for six years which made her a bit like "im older so why is my brother enagaged before me". His sister always falls out with her mum too so, she is just genuinely a nasty girl. xxxx
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (1 September 2012):
Why does his sister hate you so much? Have you ever unknowingly offended her in some way? Or maybe she feels that you are not good enough for her brother? I know that older sisters can get quite protective of their brothers but to hate the girlfriend with such a vengeance is very extreme!
I suggest that you sit down with the sister and have a talk with her and maybe try and iron out the differences. Ask her what it is that is actually bothering her so much, because you really care for your boyfriend and you would like to make things work with his family as well. Perhaps once she and her mother realize that their son is serious about you and you are good for him, they may turn around.
If they still don't make an effort to get along with you despite your efforts, then its too bad for them. Don't let them bother you and tell your boyfriend that you've tried enough.
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