A
female
age
36-40,
*oops
writes:This is not quite a dating love or anything to do with relationship question, but I think it is possibly related.I split up with my boyfriend just before christmas, not an easy break up and he filled me full of lies about why, I loved this guy a hell of a lot so was not only shocked at the sudden break up but also by the lies and hurt he caused as a result of it when all hed ever told me was that I was the one for him so on.Anyway ever since then I have been having massively vivid dreams, it takes me forever to get to sleep ( if I go to bed at 10/11 at night I wont sleep till 2/3am even with the lights off and no tv/ etc on) and when I do sleep ill sleep for about 4 hours before having really vivid dreams in which so far, Ive given birth to his child, he has tried to kill me, members of my family have died, members of my family who have died come back to life, and similar dreams involving similar subjects that leave me terrified and thinking these things are real.I am seeing a doctor to see if he can help but I hate taking tablets and feel as though there is probably a route cause to these, which my doctors usually avoid investigating.Im a uni student and cant afford to be not sleeping, nor the possibility of falling asleep during lectures and waking up in a cold sweat panic.Any help or advice would be great
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): I feel so sorry for you. Every stressful situation can affect your sleep cycle. I think you must deal with the situation and not avoid it. Have you told him how much the rupture hurt you? You have to give him a piece of your mind to start healing. Also going to church will work wonders. You are on a great deal of stress now but try not to go to bed with the stress. Do exercises during the day and maybe punch things like your pillow to release the pain and anger. I do it sometimes and thik about the person who hurt me when I punch it. Tell yourself you won't have nightmares just before you go to bed. Repeat it and repeat it out loud. Say a prayer to God father in the name of Jesus. Ask Jesus to come into your life and to give you the peace you deserve. He will do it. Try to go to your college counselor you need to get this thing out of your chest and need to feel supported by as many people as you can. I understand you feel betrayed right now and that's why you feel so unprotected and are in a state of generalized anxiety. You can buy Valerian caplets and/ or Chamomile teas before going to bed or take them during the day. Those are herbs that clam the nerves.
I think with the spirituality, the support, exercise and herbs you'll be feeling better soon.
Hope you feel good soon. Blessings.
A
female
reader, little_laura0 +, writes (10 January 2008):
I don't know if this will be much help, but i used to have a dream that kept repeating itself alot. It was about my partner at the time hurting me, so i went to my psychology teacher about it and asked what i can do to stop them from coming back? he replied, only you know why your having them and how to stop it. I thought at the time, thanks, alot of help that was but i started to think about them and realised they were all based on my fears and insecurites. i think my brain was working over time, trying to find ways of dealing with them and the only way i managed to stop them was by confronting and excepting them. it also helped discussing them with my partner at the time and haven't had them since.
By the sounds of it, you have unresolved issues relating to your ex and perhaps talking to him about them and properly coming to terms with what it is your fearing.
Good luck and i hope this has helped
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): i cant give you a professional opionon, but for what it worth, i came out of an 8 year relationship about a year ago, after finding out he was cheating on me. i had similar problems, the only way i could get to sleep was to listen to relaxing music. the kind of music they use in massage day spas. i really had to LISTEN to every note at first (slowly drifting) i had nicer dreams also, it was definatly the key for me.
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