A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I've never had anyone like me back before, much less have a boyfriend. I try not to be shy but it's difficult for me. I've tried to show interest but was rejected twice. What can I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): Oh, I've been in your situation. My advice is: don't worry, you're still young and you have a whole life ahead of you. Little by little, you will overcome it.
Until I was 19 (I'm 22 now), nobody liked me. I was the dumb nerdy kid with braces, and on top of that, I was shy. I never asked anyone out, because I was so sure I would get rejected. But then I found out a girl liked me so I dated her. It didn't work out of course, but it gave me some experience and self-confidence, which helped me with my shyness.
Later on I got a job in which I had to talk a lot, and that helped me too. I still consider myself to be shy, but I guess it depends on the situation. As far as girls go, I know when I can let myself show interest and when I should be more cautious.
I hope my advice helps. Remember that the most interesting guys like shy girls! Just try not to be shy when you can't afford to be!
A
male
reader, childof1981 +, writes (8 March 2008):
Practice is the only advice I can give you. Dating is a skill like any other, you need to work at it. The rub of course is that to do that you have to expose yourself to rejection constantly.
I was a very shy person as well and ever time I was rejected it was crushing. To tell you the truth I only got over it after somebody really broke my heart and I was both heartbroken and alone . . . After that it felt like there was nothing left to crush so I was free to stop being shy.
So basically understand that rejection happens, ignore it and keep trying.
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