A
female
age
30-35,
*omgirl10
writes:So when my b/f and I started dating he really wanted sex. I didnt, so I told him I was raped and it was still so clear i didnt want sex so he backed off. we have gotten really close over the last 3 years. but how do i tell him i lied to him is it better left un said or should i say somthing b4 we have sex? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (12 December 2008):
 Honey! It was a complete lie, so dont try to fool yourself. The thing is that you must understand how serious it is to say something like that. I'm affraid that the world can be a very nasty place for some, and to actually get raped is (in my opinion) the worst thing that you could ever go through. It's a thing that you would have to live with for the rest of your life. You are young and have a lot to learn, but to actually lie about something that is so serious, is bound to cause an outrage on here.
I dont know if you should tell him, because he will probably have a very low opinion if you do. I think we have told you off enough now sweetie, but please think about what you say in future. Life is a learning curve, and I think you have had a big lesson in that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2008): I cant believe you have done something like this. I was raped and no-one believed me at first. You should come clean, what you have done is really wrong.
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A
female
reader, pomgirl10 +, writes (11 December 2008):
pomgirl10 is verified as being by the original poster of the question the thing is it wasnt a complete lie i was touched by someone just not actully raped. i was lying about it being clear it had happened like 5 years prior and i was cool with it at the time he wanted sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): Wow. If I found that someone had lied to me over something so terrible I would be totally disgusted, it's because of people like you that people who have been abused or raped are less likely to be believed. That said, if you do decide to come clean then you should explain that you felt very pressured and didn't know how to let him down gently. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): Wow, couldn't you have just said no? or dumped him if he kept presuring you? truth told, I think it's best you keep quiet now. Your very young, just make sure you never say something like that again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): Bad call on lying about something so serious, but let sleeping dogs lie. Nothing good will come from telling him now. There's no reason to punish him for a stupid mistake you made. telling him is for your benefit, not his. It will make you feel better because you get this dirty secret off your chest...adn make him question...everything.
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A
female
reader, [email address blocked] +, writes (10 December 2008):
I'm not sure i understand how you could lie about something like that. There's people out there everyday who get raped for real and have either no one to tell or no one to really believe them. I myself know this because i was raped when i was ten years old.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (10 December 2008):
Why would you lie about such a terrible thing?. If you didnt want sex, you only had to be honest with him. I dont know what he would think about you lying over something that serious, but if I were you I would learn my lesson and never do that again.
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