A
male
age
30-35,
*av3R!K
writes:Hi,I am at a new school this year and I really want to be well liked. I am a loser, I am really shy and not at all attractive. I have heard from 'friends' that there are parties during the weekend and one friend offered to take me to one this weekend. I have never been invited to a house party before and being really shy I dont want to just sit in the corner I really want to fit in. How can I accomplish being 'cool' at this party with no self-esteem or confidence. Or without making a fool of myself.Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2011): Oops, Annalisa seems to not have noticed that you're a guy... whatever you do, DO NOT wear jewellery, a dress or makeup :P Just dress your own style, and if you're not sure, jeans and a dark shirt should be fine. Then again, I noticed you live in South Africa, and I don't really know what cool people wear there.As to socializing, just relax and be curious about people! You can stick with your friend's group, and try getting to know mutual friends, or just strike up a conversation with a random stranger. Chances are, there will probably be a few other people standing alone for a while, and they'll be easily approachable.However, you said you have no self-esteem or confidence... it might be a bit hard to accomplish being "cool" in a single night. Cool isn't only a way of acting; it's a way of being, it's the vibes you send out and that attract people, and it's hard to imitate. Just remember, even if your night doesn't go as well as you hoped, even if you don't become as popular as you wished, life definitely doesn't end there. During my years of high school I was NEVER invited to those parties, and I also had issues with my self-esteem. My social life only picked up during college, and those are the times when I made true friends.Good luck!
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