A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i've been in a long distance relationship for seven months now.my boyfriend and me both love each other a lot.of late, he has started taking less interest in me, he even lied to me once but i forgave him.we even broke up once but patched up within two days.his behavior is very mysterious, sometimes he shows immense interest in me and sometimes he is reluctant to talk with me; sometimes shares all the tit bits and sometimes avoids being candid.i'm in a complete dilemma,i don't want to lose him.i tried not calling him, but he made the first move to connect with me.how can i make him realize my value and turn all his attention towards me?
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broke up, long distance Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all of your valuable advices, I really appreciate them all.
The good news is that he became close to me( for a short period) but the bad one is that, he has told me that a girl(whom he met at a social networking site and lives in his locality) proposed him only to get rejected.
But now he has started taking pretty much interest in her and is even missing her!I've found out that he has been talking to her over the phone since past one month, but he lied to me that they never exchanged phone numbers.
Moreover, I'm miles away from him, in a different city; and it is certainly not possible to meet him, until he takes the initiative. When I told him that my parents are willing to meet him, he said he would visit my place.
But he has still kept me in the dark regarding this entire episode and has once again started avoiding me. He hangs up within minutes of conversation saying that he would call me back but, he never calls back! Earlier, it was him, who used to call me every now and then.
His present behaviour is baffling me and taking toll on my mental peace. How do I deal with this situation? I really love him from the bottom of my heart, don't want to loose him. Please help!
A
male
reader, PeterPan  +, writes (27 February 2010):
 Long distance relationships are simply difficult to develop and maintain. People, in general, are very contact oriented. If there's no contact, then it is possible to loose that same level of devotion you might have had being face-to-face.
There really is no way to "make" anyone do anything they don't want to do. But, it is possible to regenerate some interest on his part by trying to be more involved in his interests. That interest might be enough to generate more conversation and possibly open up other areas of conversation as well. What topic you choose is completely dependent on him.
Best wishes!
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (27 February 2010):
you can't- move on... you just asked "how can I change him" - you can't... you're not in a "relationship" BTW, or you wouldn't be having these issues... consider this "a guy I know, who lives far away..."... not a relationship.
Or, you could waste years chasing this guy before he grows up enough to tell you he's been dating some one locally for 6 months...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2010): Ok, so what is goin on here is he is loosing intrest in u. But don't worry! Does he ever come and visit? If so, then take him to a night out for fun. Show him that he needs u in his life. But the bad thing about long distance is that if ur boyfriend is acting like this u start to think "He's cheating on me." Thats not always the case. U don't want to blow up on him about him not talking to u cause then it leads into fights and maybe break ups. If u start to loose trust in him ask ur friend to talk to him or somthing
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