A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:help me understand please why is that men can have good loving sexual relationships with other women when he is in love with someone else is it just the animal thing ? confused Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006): If he loved you, he wouldn't be cheating on you. End of sentence. He may be too young to understand what love really is. It takes some men years to figure this out. Some never do. Sometimes it's a character flaw. It's time to dump him and move on. There are better guys out there. Trust me on this one.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, kiran +, writes (6 October 2006):
i totaly agree with you some men just cant help themselves they, want the best of everything,but then when they get it all they go and do something else, i know how you feel its horrible to think that some one claims to love u but then there off getting it elswere, my advice to you is take time to make yoursel dislike the sittuation! and then slowly youll start to see the real him. i am in the same sittuation he claims his heart is with me but is still with his girlfreind, so now iv started to see the real him it takes time but the rats get found out and wen they do they end up regretting everthing, if i was you just get on with it dont let people or words affect you. xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto clarify he hasnt cheated he wouldnt or he would be on his way no he has just said in his words she is still in his heart,(took him long enough to tell me ) he loves me, but he is in love with her, thats why i asked why can men be in a loving relationship with one woman but still be in love with another his ex confused
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (4 October 2006):
 Its called having your cake and eating it.There is some men who cant resist the excitement of getting a woman into bed yet still go home to his partner.If you are with a man who repeatedly is chasing skirt then im afraid he cannot be in love with you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2006): No it isn't an animal thing or even a gender thing. This is a character/personality weakness, through and through. It not only affect males but females do exactly the same thing. Men and women are perfectly able to control where there eyes and minds go. In other words, the 'choice' is well within their control. No one is standing over them with a bat in their hand, saying, "Go on-get! Go screw around or you'll be really, really sorry." Just doesn't wash with me! People who cheat are fully responsible for their actions..they are intelligent, self-aware human beings capable of making ethical, good choices. So..all men do not cheat. If you have a man who claims he loves you while he's boinking the girl from the checkout register at the local grocery store....you have a man who is a major 'dud'. You have a man who does not understand the meaningfulness of committment, the givingness, the benevolence, nor the integrity and contentment of sharing his life with just one woman. To be brutally honest with you a man like this does 'not' truely love his current gf because if he truely loved her and was committed, he would never, ever be able to devastate her life in any way, by risking it all and cheating on her. And just remember for all the women who blame the other woman for taking her man. No man can be "stolen" unless he wants to be. Said...done.
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