A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:When getting to know a new girl, how is it possible for a guy to recognise and avoid the dreaded "friendship trap", where the man's advances are taken as friendly and reciprocated as such. i.e. purely platonic.What signals can the guy give to ensure that the girl doesn't think she is being led down "friendship street" and instead down "romance boulevard". Similarly, what signals should the guy look out for from the lady, that declares the "friendship trap" card has been well-and-truley played. Tips, girls? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2005): The "friendship trap" is something that happens- its not a card that girls play. The first decision you make is how you present yourself. If you are macking on her from the start its kind of obvious that you are being evaluated as candidate for boy friend. Which means that you might get shot down immediately. Game over. And have to move on to another girl.If you try to come in under the radar, and be just a casual, common interest, we-like-to-hang-out-together guy, then you can drift into the class of 'friends'. By the 3rd to 5th outing you are together she will probably have classified you as a friend. So at that point you will need to signal your interest in being a boy friend. Like, dont say "I am going to see King Kong, wanna come along?"' instead ask "How about just the two of us go to King Kong together".
A
female
reader, Racky +, writes (12 December 2005):
 hi
i would advise to tell the girl how you feel. there are many ways in which you can tell a girl you like her. the places you visit together are clues such as meals out in the evening or agreeing to watch a film she want like a chick-flick. A girl will confinde in you about certain thing if she likes you in a way that friends don't talk. if the girl talks of other males to you that she likes then the chances of the friendship card being played is more then likly. Overall i would advise you to be honest and treat her with respect whether it be a friendship or romantic relationship. friendship may turn to romance. get to know her. good luck
racky
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (12 December 2005):
You can't realy generalise girls or guys actions, especially in a situation as important as this, as its a risk because if you get it wrong then you might miss out the chance of something great.
My advice to you is to just be honest with the girl. If you like her and she appears happy to be around you then give it a shot. Just say 'hey fancy going out this weekend on a date'- or whatever suits you, but the point is, if you look for 'signals' you will always be unsure and probably misread. As once again, eveyrone is different. Some girls are shy and won't show it as much, some girls are really loud and overly friendly, some girls just ignore you al ltogether in fear of making a fool of themselves, some just seem normal- like what a friend would act and some might show anger due to the idea in there head that they will never have you so they might as wlell try to hate you. Eveyrones different and im sure you guys give out just as many different signals.
So once again, just be upfront about it, save all the missleading situations.
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