A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship for about 1.5 years now, and it's been pretty rocky. There have been trust issues, control issues, fighting that goes on late into the night, etc. We have both made mistakes, probably me more than him. He's given me reasons to doubt him, but has become more open and stopped flirting, but it's still taking me time to trust him. He's a somewhat distant guy that doesn't like fighting or overanalyzing problems. I'm rather jealous, controlling, and clingy. So we've gotten into cycles of him not being open or intimate, and me becoming more clingy. Now, before you form a vision of a relationship that's completely unhealthy, there are good parts. We have a lot of similar interests, so we can enjoy evenings just reading together or playing games, or cuddled up watching tv. And we both try to do nice, thoughtful things for each other, at some points in our relationship more than others. We live together and have been building a home and family together (just pets, not kids yet). I guess I want to get some feedback over whether this is hopeless or not. I've already realized that things have to change, and I'm starting with changing the things about myself that I'm not satisfied with (the controlling, clingy aspect in particular). I know it'll take time, and I know it will be hard, since he's about burnt out with the fighting and trying to make it work on his end. I know we're sitting on the edge of a precipice, but I love him and want to try building a healthy relationship with him. It might be easier to break up and try again on a brand new slate with someone new, but I don't want to just give up if there's a chance. We've been through so much together, and I still believe that we can be good together.Is there still hope:- to have passion back- to fall in love again- to get on the right track- to forgive each other for the mistakes that led us here- to get back into the phase where we're loving and want to give and make each other happy again- to stop fighting and blaming Anyone been here before? Trying to rebuild from the point of relationship burnout? Did you do it? And how? Thank you, just looking for some hope and encouragement.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much! it gives me hope for the future knowing someone else has gone through this and that the feelings came back. and good luck with solving your issues. hopefully you guys can find a better way to work through it than the first time around. i'm hoping we will be able to too. =)
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): Me and my bf have been through some rough times. At one point we were so emotionally exhausted for all the fighting and had so much resentment for each other that I wondered the same thing that you have been. I was so upset that I honestly thought that it would be a miracle if we could ever be happy with each other again. Around the time we were forced by circumstances (I had to go overseas for about two month) to take some time apart from each other. We both cooled off and guess what- the love was back! It was just like we first started dating. It has now been about three month, and we a re starting to hit some rough spots due to the same unresolved issues. I don't know if we will be able to work them out (after all some things are just deal breakers). But to answer your question, is it possible to get that warm fuzzy feeling again after a really rough period-YES:) Is it possible to get back on track- the jury is still out for that in my case ...
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