A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:me and my girlfriend have been going out for about 6 months. I adore her and she adores me. Some of her friends and family say she seems much more happy and thrilled with me as her boyfriend than she has done with her ex's. I haven't told her I've never had sex with anyone before and I know she is more sexually experienced than me (Obviously but from what I can gather she has had at least 5 different partners, first was when she was 16). How am I suppose to match them when I haven't done anything sexual my entire life (I'm 28 now she's 25) and what if I'm just another sex partner for her? I know it sounds harsh, I do love her more than anything.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): Dude don't sweat it. As you say shes had guys in the past but shes with *YOU* now. Forget about them, she won't be judging you by them and neither should you.
It sounds like you're both really into each other and that is an absolutely great position to be in, she will respond favourably to anything you do - except stressing about her past lovers! Why not just talk to her about your inexperience? Or if that's hard (would be for me I know ;), then just take it slow and easy, ask her if she enjoys what you're doing (although don't ask *too* much), be responsive to her, just listen and watch.
Just let it develop on its own, there is no right way and certainly no formula to success, we're all different!
A
male
reader, core_confusion +, writes (7 January 2008):
 Experience doesnt always count for everything. It's easy to think of a sexula history as having a repetior of tricks to draw on. It doesnt work like that. People are very differnt and liek very differnt things. Good love making comes from deep inside - its a mixture of gut instinct and good communication. You can tell from the resonse if you are doing something right. Try to lead the communication, give careful feedback - something like 'that feels good' or ' you make me feel so good when you do that' Not only does that mean that you get more of what you like but you should fins that your partner reciprocates with the smae sort of thing. If you get a resonse, keep doing it.
Do you want to have sex or do you want to make love? That's the nest step. Making love involves the whole body and all of the senses, not just the basic sex drive that we all have. Think, if you love this person, how are you going to show it? Thake that feeling and put it at the heart of what you do.
What if you're just another sex partner? Well, thats always a bit of a gamble. Ultimately it comes down to trust, and your own instincts for the feelings that youa re getting fro you partner. As long as you are not being too full on, never be affraid to voice your feelings. Dont be scared of rejection, its something that we all get at some time and for the greatest rewards, risks are required.
Take your time, be yourself and take one step at a time.
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