A
female
age
26-29,
*udeywoodeyrocks
writes:It started February 2010,thats when S first told me that he loved me,then we went through a stage where we were like friends then we fell out, we were friends then we fell out, more times than you can ever imagine, for the whole of 2010. Then in 2011 it started dying down a little bit because we didn't see each other as often. With every boyfriend I've had, I told S I loved him as well as who ever I was with, which is bad I know. S isn't exactly good looking but I can't help but love him. He's asked me out many times and I kept saying no because I didn't like his looks (because back then I was selfish and only looked at the outside) now I have a boyfriend who I feel a lot for, he's my first proper boyfriend (I've met his family and he sleeps round my house all the time). Now back to S, things are amazing between us both, even though he's changed a lot and we barely even see each other, he still loves me, even after the nearly 2 years of a roller coaster that we've had. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 months and he knows about me and S because I've told him but I haven't told him that I still say I love you to S. Me and S are amazing at the moment. He keeps reminding me of all the amazing memories that we've had and it brings a tear to my eye the way he describes it, it's beautiful. He said to me today that the reason you're with him is because you went for the most beautiful one instead of following your heart and he's right, but as I've been with my boyfriend I've become so fond of him, and tell him I love him all the time, because I do, just in a different way that S. Thing is this mess is going to be hard to get out of. I do love my boyfriend but I've been through so much with S. I'll never forget either of them and I know I haven't given much of a description of my boyfriend. So here's my question: How am I going to get out of this mess and who should I be with?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2011): It all boils down to who you want more. Nonetheless, "NEW IS ALWAYS BETTER". Things with "S" never progressed to where they are with your current boy because it just isn't right. And you miss what you and "S" even more because you don't have it currently. Don't let your feelings blind you. Pretend "S" isn't there and block him from your mind for a while...Won't things with you and your boy become so much better? If they do, that means you must stay with your boy. If not, and it is too difficult to keep "S" out of your mind, tell your boyfriend that you can't keep seeing him as long as you have "S" on your mind. Jus be honest and tell him you think about him. If he is mature, he will let you figure things out with "S". Perhaps you will date "S" and find out your boyfriend was a much better choice. That is the only way to find out...
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reader, judeywoodeyrocks +, writes (11 November 2011):
judeywoodeyrocks is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your response. However, I don't know which one I love more as my boyfriend is all I've ever hoped for,he's so beautiful, he knows everything about me, he knows how to cheer me up and never puts me down, he calls me beautiful all the time. But S, I've been through so much with him, he's not good looking but he's beautiful on the inside. I understand what you are saying but I don't know which one I would drop, I don't want to loose either of them but if I keep this going then my boyfriend will find out and I will hate myself so much. But I've lost S before many times and have experienced how hard life is when he's not there for me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2011): A girl of mine is in the same situation. I am the better looking guy, but she has been in a relationship with a more average guy for years. He is a wuss and is completely in love with her. However, I am more of the alpha and can live on without her. She is still so drawn to me and doesn't mind cheating on her serious relationship boyfriend. I can't help myself either because she is attractive and great at what she does. She can't find it in herself to leave him because she does love him, but her relationship is missing a certain feeling, a passionate ecstatic feeling, that of which I can provide. Its been years and she still hasn't decided what to do. We meet up occasionally whenever she can get away from him. I know its wrong, but I am still young and she is still young so why not? It's not like she's married and its her choice. I'm just there for the ride.My solution to you is, figure out which one you want before it gets too messed up and you get caught up. Its dangerous the longer you hold it out you may end up alone. drop one.
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