A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello.I cheated on my boyfriend whilst we were going through a rough patch. I totally regret it, I have not told him but I think about it and deeply regret it every single day. I almost torture myself mentally over it. The worst part is that I'm pregnant, now I didn't know till quite late into my pregnancy so my first scan was at 18 weeks. According to the scan(with the added two weeks) my pregnancy started on the 24th october(which would mean I conceived around the 7th November, making it my boyfriends), I cheated on 14th october. But I heard scans can be out by 2 weeks if they're done after the 16th week of pregnancy.The conception date of my EDD(estimated due date)the sonograph shown would fit into the time of week I usually sleep with him also, but... that doesn't mean much really I guess. I had unprotected sex with him many times before cheating, so why didn't I conceive before... why not too long after I cheated, that's what gets me.I pray every day that it's boyfriends so I can raise my child and be happy with him, yet I can't help but fear the worst. My second scan estimated that baby was 5 days ahead of the first, which would make me more safe. But I just can't put my mind to rest, I must have checked conception calenders... date calculators, everything atleast 10 times a day. I'm sure I had a period after I slept with my friend, but I'm not sure. So that does not settle me either.So I was wondering, how accurate are sonographs at 18 weeks(bare in mind that I was only pregnant for 16 of those weeks)? and should I tell boyfriend? what if it turns out to be his though... even if it did I'd still feel horribly guilty.It's not him leaving me(I'm terrified of that) that bothers me most though, it's how upset he'll be. We had an argument once and I said some stuff and he didn't yell.. he just lay in bed and cried till he threw up... :/ I'm a horrible person..
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cheated on my boyfriend, conceive, period, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 April 2011):
 Yes, and the DNA sample has to be taken by the nurse. So there's no obtaining a sample of your boyfriend's salvia without his consent.
Looks like you need to come clean about cheating in order to find out who the father is.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2011): This is a reply from OP(original poster).
Thank you for your replies everyone, I appreciate them. & it's ok for you to judge me, I wont hold anything against anyone because I know what I have done is extremely wrong and I am asking for your actual opinions.
Actual conception, clinically happened 30 days after sleeping with friend according to scans etc etc. So I'm not sure if it can be that far out. It's just that I conceived suddenly after that, that makes me worry.
A DNA test does seem like the appropriate action, I might take one if I can do it without consent from boyfriend. I couldn't do one with 'friend' as I have apologised for any misleading and blocked him out of my life. Don't they use saliva for DNA tests?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): Get a paternity test for the kid. And if it is not your BFs tell him. DO NOT LET HIM BELIEVE IT IS HIS IF IT IS NOT! It will lead to disaster for him and the child years down the road when he finds out. DNA tests are getting easier and cheaper so he will find out some day if the child is not his.As for the cheating... can't help you there.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): I can't read your last line and let this go. No cheating is not a commendable act. I/we can't condone it. But if every one that has cheated was immediately dropped kicked to hell you would find it very easy to find a seat on the subway.I won't give you any advice on what to do. Except to quit beating yourself up about it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 April 2011):
 Only way to tell 100% is to do a DNA test.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (9 April 2011):
 If you had a period after you slept with the other man, so long as it was at least a few weeks after you two slept together, then you weren't pregnant with the man you cheated with. Also if you used protection with the man you cheated with but didn't with your boyfriend, it's fairly clear who the father is. However, the dates are close so there's no way of knowing for sure unless you get a paternity test after the baby is born. You'll have to test for the man you cheated with, since consent is required from both people being tested. If you thought it might be someone else's and it was unplanned, have you considered adoption for the baby? Also, why on Earth didn't you use protection?
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