A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:For the past year I have had an on/off relationship with a woman aged 42(I am the same age). By on/off what I mean is she blows hot and cold.Whenever she has ended the relationship, saying she just wants to be freinds she has maintained constant contact - telling me she misses me and loves me, on an hourly basis. Whenever there is a family event she always wants me there.Her family are keen that she settles with me she tells me. When we have finished and she finds out I am with another lady she gets very jealous, she gets jealous if she so much as sees me talking to another woman when we are together.At the same time if I even show a pang of jealousy she goes ballistic. She has a wide circle of friends, maintains contact with her ex boyfriend. I have been told that I am a meal ticket by others though she does always pay her way. In a previous relationship she found her partner cheated on her, although in her marriage she was the one who commited adultery.What do I do? She won;t talk about the relationship, if I broach it I am getting heavy and she runs off - saying thats not what she wants and that it is all over Unfortunately I am in love!Is she frightened of commitment? Am I the acceptable face of boyfriendism? Can someone give me a clue?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): she just wants to have her cake and eat it,if she truly cared and loved you she would commit
A
female
reader, doe44  +, writes (23 August 2008):
I wish I knew what I know and answered you `a year ago. this guy is not frustrating you for nothing he is controlling your emotions. it is a deadly game. where they call you every day and suddenly stop calling, they will not answer your calls, will not respond your e mails and your text messages. After thinking about the person every day for about a month, stopping is impossible. Your mind will crave him like a drug. you will go into episodes of confusion, sweat , chills, panic attack, crying spells, withdrawal from society, moody, staring , gazed, palpitation,loss of appetite, loss of interest, suicidal thought etc....You are under training. When you are completly tamed, you will have your own time with that person, your own hours to talk to them and of course what ever they want you do. They become your pimp and you do not even know it. they will control your emotions, will take money from you and another 30 girls that are going to the same thing. Some vulnerable girls have committed suicide, some have remained emotionally impaired some girls have reacted and in return do the same things to vulnerable men. Be careful when you see your calls being ignored and played with. some of these men have HIV, hepatitis or STD and they always attempt to sleep with you unprotected. My cousin did that to my best friend Jen. She was going to a lenghty bitter divorce for over a year when she met Jocelyn.
He lived in New York and she lives in S. Florida. After sweeping her off her feet online exchanging pictures , and to make matters worse, he even promised her that he was going to change his job and apply for a job in S. florida. Which he did. However, he came to s. florida , the girl went to pick him up. Then they were supposed to see each other for a birthday party batch well to make things short, He never showed up, never answer his calls, e mail remained without answers. Plane and ticket to a concert to new york that they had planned was wasted ( of course the girl's money) to this day he never made contact. Of course he was doing the same things to others. I remember my friend saying: " what did I do " ? for months.. she did not do anything . I felt that I failed her because I did not know and did not understand the symptoms. She deteriorated from the best to so so. ....... these guys by the way belong to a secret sect and they have pacts that they made and money goals, they have meetings, they also very into bisexualism. but still in the closet. All of them are professionals: Doctors, Physician assistant, computer programmers, lawyers,... etc.... They all will take money from you all.
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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007):
I know what it feels. Whether the man is 14 or 44 they all play mind games. Maybe he has commitment issues and wants to make sure he has his feelings perfectly clear before he takes it further. If you are tired of the games, tell him how you feel and he either stops playing and get serious or you move on.
Jen, 14
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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007):
Lay off him and see what happens. Dont respond to him. He is playing a high school game with you and should know better at his age. Just ignore him and i bet he jumps into action. Anyway why do you want to be with someone so immature?
take care
xx
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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007):
Very strange, unless he is attached, shy, scared to perhaps get rejected by you if he tries to take it further.
I would suggest perhaps you beating him to it, if you wish to take it further. At least if you ask him out and he say's "no, not interested in you like that", you will know he's just a flirt and no planning to follow through.
Some people, male and femail, like flirting but never intend, and get totally buggered up if someone wants to take it further. They clam up as their intention was innocent, even if it is suggestive.
Call his bluff. He's old enough to handle it!
(p.s.) yes, it is a bit highschool!
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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007):
yeah, he is being wishy washy. dont pay him any special attention for a bit and you will see he will come back running. dont be rude or mean, but treat him just like you would if he was the ugly guy in shipping, or someone you have no attraction to. if he asks whats up...tell him.
if this persists for more than a month, tell him to get lost and you go grab you a real man.
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