A
female
age
36-40,
*oxolittles
writes:So back in August 2009 I hooked up with a friend. We decided to continue hooking up, but to just remain as friends. Well 6 months later we're still in the same boat, however I guess you can say the ocean we're sailing in has changed. Over the months He's become more and more "boyfriend like." Neither of us have hooked up with other people, we talk everyday, He brings me lunch to work, surprised me on Valentines day, takes me to the movies, dinner, etc. However when confronted by friends about why he hasn't asked me to be official, he either avoids the question or says because we're just friends. Its getting harder and harder to be stuck in between here. Its like I'm in limbo! I just don't know whats going on in his head. He's not a partier, or a player or anything like that.
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female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (28 February 2010):
 Have a talk with him about it, whatever you do, DON'T be confronting. He seems like a sweet guy and who knows? He may have some issues he's simply getting. Becoming more "boyfriend-like" may mean he's gradually, slowly by slowly, adjusting to a more committing relationship. He may also be hesitant to ask you straight up to be his girlfriend because he doesn't know how you would feel about it. When he brings you lunch at work, kiss him, thank him, and just say something like, "Wow, you're so sweet, girls all over the place would kidnap you to be their boyfriend." Watch how he reacts, the way he responds, you'll learn a lot. If you do want to take that step, again, talk it out. Ask him how'd he'd feel about you two trying an official relationship out. Make no demands. Just gently set the idea down.
A
female
reader, forever friend  +, writes (28 February 2010):
 blumin heck this is too simular to where i was a few years ago, it ended up me falling in love with him and him not feeling the same, it was the most heartbreaking and thrilling relationship ever and thats also how i knew i had a problem i chose guys who were 'hard to get' , i dont regret the experience because its made me more determined to choose a guy who feels the same bout me now. best advice for you is, and listen carefully! if you carry on with him, tell him if he doesnt step up real soon and be officially your boyfriend you will look for someone else, i wish someone wuda told me this because being a friend with benifits damaged my self esteem even tho he did act like my boyfriend in the same way and he always told friends and family i was his friend , my god that was so hard to hear from him and a kick in the teeth really dont u think,dont let him put u in a place that suits him, you deserve real love and official for definet ok just cuz all women are worth it! im not saying this is what u are(a friend with benifits, but DONT settle for being second best huni ok thats your right to be official with him, otherwise HE aint worth it huni ok, be strong and look after ursen
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