A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 21 and have been in a long term on off relationship with a 29 year old for 3 years. We have broken it off many times but always end up going back or sleeping together. Unfortunately the last time we slept together i fell pregnant. He told my parents before i could and now i'm homeless, poor and pregnant, he wont speak to me at all and has just cut off, despite only a few days ago declaring his undying love for me.He is a compulsive liar, and won't stop smoking weed and treating me like dirt, should i just cut away and do this on my own or should i try and make a friendship with him for the sake of the child???Please help me i'm so lost
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): Your ex is the least of your worries right now!!! you have to find a home thats warm and safe for both you and your baby right now.
You should also try and reconcile things with your parents as well. God knows what your ex has said to them. Fair enough right now they are upset and angry over what has happened but at the end of the day they will want to be part of their grandchild's life!!! If you can't face talking to them - right them a letter. Just open up the channel of communications with them at least....
Best of luck with it all xx
A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (4 February 2008):
 Hye, with you being in the UK go striaght to the housing declare yourself homeless and tell them your pregnant and they are obliged to help you. they will put you inteo temp accomodation and then get you a flat. i suggest you apply for income support of you dont have a job or job seekeres allowance, you can get these from the local job center. Look for a job at the same time, you should get a flat or house quicker to raise your child
as for the father leave him...offer him to be part of your childs life but i suggest you keep drugs away from your child. Talk to your parents, say your peace
I wish you luck x
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A
female
reader, sullivanjord  +, writes (4 February 2008):
Girl there place in every state to help you ,you are not along if i knew what state you in i give you the informations, but go to your local polices department and they can take you the the house of ruth or other places to help you. get the help you need. please forces on yourself and that child .if he leave you knowing that you having his baby and no money, he not an man you don't need that .but you are not along.you can go to the salvation army ,house of ruth of recue mission, chalcthic charies. place in all states that will help you and not judge you. leave that losser just get in some place warm where you can get help and care for you and the baby ,remenber you're never along
god always with you
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A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (4 February 2008):
 Hi hun
You are experiencing extreme stress right now. I guess it is like the low point. I agree with the other two posters here. Stay away from the father of your child. He has caused you heartache and stress and you kept going back because you felt you did not deserve more...do not feel alone as many people do this. Like another poster here I am wondering if your parents know of your pregnant state. It troubles me that they would put you in this position if they did know. If they do not know and will not take you back you need to find affordable and safe housing. Collaroy gives some good practical advice here.
I agree that you can do this on your own. Once you get your immediate situation sorted out then you need to think about your goals for the future. Your emotional well being and safety is the most important thing now. This stress cannot be helping you. Hopefully you have a place to say right now and that you have a friend or two who is sticking with you. Keep us posted on how you are doing hun. xxxx
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (4 February 2008):
 As far as now. You have other things to deal with. Your boyfriend is not someone you should be thinking about. Weather he someday comes around, straightened up and off dope is a maybe, but if he does or doesn't you still have yourself and a child to be taking care of.
Do it on your own. I'm a single parent. In the early years of being a parent, my first child and I live in a motel room. We've had it hard at time, and good at times. It will be much better for you if you focus on the end result, raising that child.
As far as now, I'd stay away from the boyfriend. It sounds like he's screwed you in more than one way. When having a child, you can't risk lies.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (4 February 2008):
 Hi there,
Sorry to see you are in this mess. First, as you live in the U.K you can at least take advantage of the social security system. Go to your local DSS office and tell them you are pregnant and homeless. They will be able to provide you with temporary accomation if needed .
As for the boyfriend, forget him, but only until you give birth , then let the DSS know who the father is and you can claim financial support off this loser.
So your parents have kicked you out of the house? Really? I am sure this will change when they realise they have a grandchild coming into the world . If they won't talk to you write them a letter stating that if they want to play a part in their grandchild's life they should let you know before you have the baby.
At the end of the day it sounds like you have a lot of rotten people in your life, it's time to take control of your own future, get somewhere to live first and then look at the support groups in your local community.
Good luck.
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