A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I’m a 26 year old female. Just got married to the love of my life whom i dated for 8 long years. Everything was fine, I would feel the love and warmth in the relationship before we got married. We would even be romantic whenever we met while now we hardly get anytime for ourselves (as we stay with my husband’s parents) thus feel deprived of the love we shared earlier. We make out possibly just 2-3 times in a month. Is it that he doesn’t want me anymore, or he doesn't consider me attractive now… I just want to get my husband to make me feel loved and cared for and want him to give me my time. How do i do that? What should i do to get the spark back in our relationship?? Also he was not working when we met the first time, he only started working past 5 years of our relationship and now he’s totally busy with work (even at home mentally) I respect that he wants to work hard but don’t you think that we should have our own time as well...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): You need to get your own life. It could be that you seem to be there for the taking. Don't obssess with him. Do your own thing, and make yourself interesting for yourself. When he starts thinking you are fun he will find his way to you on his own. He is not deciding not to spend time but maybe he feels that he needs to concentrate on work right now. Let him know that you wish you guys had more time but don't nag him.
Since you are staying with his family use this time to know them better, develop relationships there, learn to cook what he likes and hear stories about him. Once you are busy with children or if you need to move away you will never have this time again.
Give it time. Don't lose heart. If he did not love you he wouldn'd have married you.
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