A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Worried that something is going on with my husband. We have been together 18 years. We have had anal sex 3-4 times in the past ( i was only 19-21 years old and extremely loaded when we did it) since then we have had 3 children, i am in a twelve step program so im sober. We have not discussed nor done anal in over ten years. Last night we were intimate- he flipped me over and enetered my anus, without discussing, without warning, without lubrication. It hurt so bad i was crying, he still kept going, i was shocked, confused and hurt. I finally screamed stop because he went so quickly and deeply it hurt so bad. He did then stop and gave me a slight guilt trip (showing no concern for me hurting/crying). Started to try to finish the job himself since i became adimant about him stopping. I started to feel so guilty, i rolled back over and said just hurry up, dont go all the way in please. Atleast then he grabbed some vaseline but didnt even ask r you sure just jumped right in and once got so aroused dismissed the go easy request. I was left feeling disgusted, confused and hurt- angry with myself. Afterward i was in the bathroom w/diarhea and a bleeding anus for an hour. He took a shower and went to sleep right away- never checked on me. Am i overreacting to have my feelings hurt that #1 he just pursued it without asking ; #2 never asked if im okay or checked on me after. Im really confused as the only time he behaved this way before : was before we got married and i found out he was cheating and had been watching tons of porn. He is not sexually deprived but feel like something else is going on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): This really disgusting. It was so shocking and awkward to even read this.This is a messed up form of rape.Seriously. I DON'T even think you should bother talking to him or asking him for an apology. If it were me, that would warrant an instant divorce... and much more.... O.oI would NEVER tolerate this... If my BF EVER did this to me- he would be dumpedPLEASE leave this terrible sad excuse for a human. O.o
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): WOW, this disgusts me. If he cared about you, he would not do ANY of these things. I'm completely disgusted. My fiance likes anal, and we've only tried it once and since then I haven't wanted to do it again. Maybe some day in the future, but it just wasn't my thing. My guy completely understands and he might joke about it here or there, but every time it's brought up in a serious manner, he makes it a point to let me know that he doesn't need to have it to be happy with me. What he did was completely selfish and barbaric. The act alone was horrid, but I could see if he was just trying to do something "new" and maybe surprise you by being overly aggressive, but to see your reaction (crying) and act like a complete pig just makes me want to cry for you. You should have a serious talk with him if this isn't how he normally acts. If anal is something he wants that bad, it should be discussed, and then even if you disagree he should understand. I'm really sorry for your situation and I hope he realizes that this is not okay in any way, shape or form. Good luck, though.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 October 2012):
 None of that is OK.
Just because you have done it in the past and JUST because you are married gives him NO right to treat you like that. For me that is rape.
You need to talk to him. THIS is not OK.
Why on EARTH you felt you needed to let him anyways is beyond me. I don't understand. You felt sorry for him basically violating you?
He owe you an apology and an explanation. That was just so wrong.
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