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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: The porn question and advice: Well, I was married for 14 years, finally could not take his addiction..he would take pics and videos of other women and god knows what else..confronted him for 8 years..than he wanted me to sleep with other men..man..could go on here..but finally have a great man, a friend of mine for 8 years..we both are crazy about each other..but he is hiding his porn on the computer....finally looked and he was hiding history..etc..I knew this for 8 months since living with him..supposed to get married this July..but today he came home for lunch, I ran an errand came back and looked, he was looking at porn..seen where he visits (took of blocks of history. etc)....I don't think i trust men and if you are hiding something..than it could go on to cheating, I believe..he did have 3 affairs on his wife of 13 years..he said he did not love her..but now I am thinking why get married..other than this..he does treat me very well, and my kids love him...should I trust him and just know this is normal..or look into why he is hiding this..Confused!! In Wyoming..( even moved a state away for him)
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007): if you havent alredy tryed asking him to stop looking at porn you may say that when he looks at porn it makes you feel betrayed in a way. i dont think that all your faith in men should be gone there are some nice ones out there, as for your personal beliefs about porn try to remember that is all it is a picture/video of a woman/man in a sexual manorl, and im sorry to say it but as for your fiance/boyfriend ones a cheater always a cheater but i do believe you should take time away to realise what you want yourself in doing this also giveng your fiance/boyfriend an altimatum so maybe the time you are away will make your fiance/boyfriend realise that is either you or the porn there is a 99.9% chance that he will choose you however if he does choose porn is he worth it anyway i hope i was able to help in 1 way or another
A
male
reader, thestormbringer  +, writes (18 December 2007):
I can relate to this question, being a man who has struggled with porn addiction.
You need to ask yourself some hard questions.
Why is he looking? Is he searching for something that you are not giving him? Do you have anything to do with his wanting to hide things? What I mean by that is, do you create an environment where he feels safe enough to tell you the truth, or are you reactionary and emotional and unwilling to hear what he has to say?
You need to find out why he is doing this. Clamp down your anger and emotions and try (I know its hard) to think about it rationally and calmly.
If he gives you some obvious bulls**t answer, you will know (women ALWAYS know), but if there is something that is more deep-seated, then perhaps counseling is the answer.
Hope this helped. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, chalotte  +, writes (18 December 2007):
His just playing you to have company maybe he think he's smart but don't let him coz who knows he might say later it's over for both of you, or he's having affairs at the time...you should moved on but before that just ask him if he wants to get marry to you...just think carefully...
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