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female
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anonymous
writes: HiMy boyfriend has recently taken up photography as a hobby. He is mostly interested in controversial photography and thus wants to focus on erotic photography/nudes because of the artistic value. I have an issue with him taking pictures of naked woman and have voiced this opinion to him. As a result he is no longer going into this line although I know that this is only for me. Am I wrong? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (3 August 2006):
 I think you have the right to voice your opinions on the matter and I don't think any woman would be happy about her man taking naked pictures of women. I mean, loads of women get mad at their men for looking at naked women in magazines, never mind being in the same room as them!!! It's perfectly natural for us to be jealous of that and I think I would have reacted the same.
However, I would not want him to stop following a dream of his just because I didn't want himt to. That's just not fair and he'll only end up resenting you in the end. Everyone should be able to breathe in relationships and have some freedom. If he was doing porn or something, I'd be fully on your side, but really, is taking some erotic pictures really that bad?
I can see both sides of this arguement and he must be a great guy to drop what he wanted to do because you were unhappy. However, you need to think whether or not you are willing to let him give up this dream just for you.
Good luck, have a long think then a long talk and see what you come up with.
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (3 August 2006):
 There is no right or wrong answer to your dilemma, as everyone probably has a different viewpoint. If this was a legitimate hobby prior to your entry into his life then at least you know that he his activities are unconnected to the state of your relationship. If he started taking erotic photos since your relationship has started then I guess I can understand your concern. However, it is not as if he is being secretive about his activity so it maybe an innocent pursuit. The fact that he is prepared to stop doing this for you is surely a good sign that he is willing to compromise and thinks a lot of you. Allowing him to take such photos or not cannot be answered by any aunt because it is an individual moral judgement at the end of the day - no one has the right to tell you that you are 'right' or 'wrong'...only you can decide on your conscience at the end of the day. However, you should try to think about why you feel so strongly about this issue - is it a question of moral values? perhaps you feel insecure about the relationship? Don't you trust him? Maybe you construe this as a form of cheating? If you just have strong views on this aspect of his life then it maybe ok, but if you feel the need to control his behaviour more generally (...like where he goes out, who he sees, what he does) then it maybe a sign of problems you are having with the relationship that need addressing between the pair of you for a healthy, happy future.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2006): HiAlthough I understand your concerns, you should be able to trust him. And anyway he may hold it against you if you dont. Have you thought of asking him if you could be there to help. A lot of models would rather have a girl there, as well anyway, to put them at ease. If it does become a problem then at least you can say you tried. good luck
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