A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a 20 year old woman in a great relationship with a 50 year old man. We love eachother very much and are engaged. The only problem is that he confessed to me that the reason why his past marriage failed is because 5 years ago his ex wife caught him in an adult chat room, engaged in a conversation with a random man whom was discussing how sexy teenage girls are these days. His ex-wife freaked out and left him and he constantly tells me he feels horrible and that he is not attracted to young girls. he even has two teen daughters whom adore him. And he is a police officer- so he cannot afford to have a bad history. Unfortunately I am having a very very very hard time getting over what he did in the past. I was also sexually abused my a middle-aged man when I was five years old. Do I really have reason to worry that he may be sick and twisted? Or is it just my own insecurities from my past trauma that are messing with my head?? Please help me! This is ruining my life and otherwise perfect relationship!!!
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female
reader, Kasekuchen +, writes (17 September 2007):
"he constantly tells me he feels horrible and that he is not attracted to young girls" I'm sorry but what do you consider yourself to be? As someone else pointed out you're only a year past being a teenager yourself so clearly he does find young girls attractive. Also, I'm no expert but if you were sexually abused by a middle-aged man there might be some psychological reason why you're with someone so much older now yourself. Plus, I dont mean to be patronizing (especially since I'm only 21 myself!) but I think 20 is a little young to be engaged especially if you are having such serious doubts about the relationship. Hope everything works out for you.
A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (17 September 2007):
 Your still so young and your engaged and your not even sure if your husband to be is a pervert dont you think you could be rushing things? I can understand being a victim of abuse myself how hard it is to trust and to love and commit to a relationship but if you want this to work then you have to accept his past and that he made the mistake of talking to a pervert about sexy teenage girls, if you can accept that and trust that he wouldnt make a move on a teenager then maybe you should just forget that and get on with your relationship.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (17 September 2007):
Your still so young and your engaged and your not even sure if your husband to be is a pervert, i can understand being a victim of abuse myself how hard it is to trust and to love and commit to a relationship
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): Hello!! Are you serious?????? You're practically still a teenager yourself & you're asking if he's attracted to young girls? This guy is almost 3 times your age. I think you know the answer to this one. Why are you with him?? Is he your meal ticket? What happens if you marry this fool? When you're 40 he will be 70! Or dead b/c men die younger than women. You need to wake the hell up & find a man your age. How can you even be sexually attracted to him? That's gross.
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