A
female
age
30-35,
*ristinaOwens18
writes:Ok, so i lied to my boyfriend and he forgave me but his parents absolutely hate me. They used to like me but when i lied to my boyfriend, it made them hate me. Then me and my boyfriend got in a fight yesterday and he texted me and said goodbye and everything so i said it back and now his parents hate me even more and even tho me and him are fine, they still hate me and wont let him get his phone back on because of me. What do i do? I dont want to lose him and i dont want his parents to hate me cuz if me and him get married then i dont want them to disown him or our kids. What do i do.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (30 September 2011):
 What did you lie to your boyfriend about??
If I'm guessing correctly, he and his parents are close. This means that if you lie to him or hurt him, he confides in his parents (I'm guessing mostly his mom), and they become very protective of him.
Your chances of salvaging any good standing rests on exactly what you lied to your boyfriend about that he informed his parents about. If you lied and cheated on him, I'm guessing that it's not going to help. If you lied about being pregnant, stealing his money, or something of that nature, same thing.
Other than that, your ticket to slowly winning back his parents' trust is BY YOUR ACTIONS. You must display that you love and want to protect and be there for him with the same ferocious loyalty that his parents do. Trust is built slowly, especially if you've shown signs of lying and/or drama. Breaking up over and over and lying don't put his parents in any sort of mood to look favorable on you.
It's less about "hate" and more about their love for their son. Your actions have so far shown to them that they can't trust you, and that by your actions, you've hurt their son.
Take time. Repair the trust. Have lots of patience, show lots of love, stop the drama, and STOP LYING. Now, if you cheated or the lie was a big one, you might have to be repairing trust for a long long time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2011): Slow down there, you shouldn't be even thinking,let alone worrying, about kids and marriage and disowning etc
It seems a bit extreme that his parents won't let him put his phone on......or that they know what you and he are texting to each other. I take it he's the same age as you?
Deal with him face to face - don't involve parents in this, and if he is letting them rule him then perhaps he isn't ready for relationships.Parents are there to pick up the pieces not dictate to a young adult.
All I can think is they are concerned re his education suffering, but even so, they shouldn't be 'hating' you, a young girl
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