A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:is he seeing someone else?i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years on and off. we split up a month ago an got back together. when we was split up his mum told me that he had another girlfriend, when i asked him he said no. now that we are back together he has told me to keep quiet about it because he doesnt want his mum to find out because she has told him to sort his life out,i dont understand as him mum loves me to bits. when we meet up to see each other we always meet up away from where he lives. im suspicious. why doesnt he want his mum to know we are back together? what should i do?
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female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (12 September 2007):
 i think rhythmandblues2's advice was excellent and i am more or less going to mirror it!
I think he was seeing someone else. I cant see any reason why his mum would lie and say that he was. But i can see plenty of reasons why he would be the one lying by saying he wasnt seeing anyone else. He may be that he knows his mum will be on his case for messing about and flitting from girl to girl, especially when she cares about you so much. But it could also be that he is still seeing the other girl and doesnt want his mum to know you are back together because as far as she knows he's with the other girl and would tell you that.
just tell him you know somethings up but dont know what it is and tell him he needs to be straight with you because you can get over anything if he respects you enough to tell you the truth but not if he is playing you for a fool and thinking you wont be smart enough to see that somethings going on.
best of luck, let me know how you get on x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): I agree with the below comment. If his mom loves you to bits, then she is probably just trying to protect you. Her son was dating someone else and wanted to date you too and so his mom told you so that you would not get hurt and decieved.
And he probably is keeping you a secret because he knows that his mom is going to spill the beans and tell you what a scumbag your bf really is.
What I don't understand is how his mom who seems so "moral" could have such little influence over her son. I mean usually men who are raised by "moral" parents and who are instilled with good values tend to have good values as well. So I don't understand where he gets this behavior from. I mean I was once dating two guys at once and my mom who is very "moral" about stuff like that told me that if I didn't choose one or the other, that she was going to tell them both! So I got scared and dumped one of them. Maybe this is what happened in his case. But like I said, in my case, I dumped one of them. But in his case, he doesn't seem to have any regard for his mom's opinion and it seems like he hasn't dumped either of you. That's why he is keeping you a secret. He sounds like a such a scumbag. I would try to forget him if I were you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): I think your boyfriend was seeing someone else while you were apart, his mum who loves you to bits would have no reason to hurt you on purpose, she is letting you know her son is not committed to a relationship with you, but wants to see other people.
The fact that he is hiding you from his mum means he doesn't want her to know as she probably doesn't approve of him messing you about.
Use your own gut instinct, if you don't want to see other people and want to be only with him, tell him so, and if he is seeing someone else he needs to be honest with you so you know where you stand and whether or not you should be dating others, too.
You are both too young in my opinion to be so tied down to each other. You are only young once, you only have one period of your life where you don't have any real responsibilities. Now is the time to be dating (not sleeping with by the way) many people so that you can learn more about yourself and what you need in a partner to make your life a happy one, that and focusing on your education....
Take care.
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